Monday, October 16, 2017

you admire in yourself
how so many love you
making you feel secretly proud
i just one of the chorus
you let me be devoted
for you to feel exalted

given over
to this temporary power
higher than death on it
more glad than the sun or stars
brighter and more alluring
than the moon

you grew tired of me
of my hands of my words
of my face of my body
longing increased
anger and fear too
then only yourself to you

but when it is dark
i am the one you left behind
i am the one you aren't thinking of
you can go with as many lovers
i'll still be on your mind
i am the one you left behind

so speaks the withering ego
relentless like a wound mechanism
like a wounded abomination

to be free of such sentiments
freedom itself without any limits
wide as the sky without any ending

even pat-a-cake and kisses
have the essence of redemption
not even separate from other forms


**








Thursday, October 12, 2017

if i could live forever/ all my friends would get old and die

if i could live forever
all my friends would get old and die
before i noticed

if i was going to live forever
i'd never love you
the way i do

i'd be unmoved by fires and floods
suffering and lonliness
night or day

but i'm getting older and i can't stop
my loved ones aging like me
hard not to see this

i'm rounding each year after year
you are somewhere else
i am here

now towns burn and cities sink
breaking hearts further because
we only have each other

the selfish face the night and curse
that dark is coming
like an unstoppable tide

the heart can make bliss out of nothing
even if we have nothing
after we wasted our gifts

it all starts with the salvation
of leaving the crushing of ego
helping those in need

reclamation of self is never too late
if one looks to be kind to others
and help any way they can

then through this you will find the self
is not what you thought it was
by letting it go


***



Tuesday, October 03, 2017

Poem: and there's / so much love

i let go
and its
all right
and i keep
letting go

after i
grab on
tight
i remember
i let go

because
everything
i worried
about
wasn't true
or what
i thought
it was

and there's
so much love
as much
as light
as much
as rain
in every thing
everywhere

when i stop
and surrender
time goes
away
and i'm
back in the
now loving
everyone
everything
and its OK

it doesn't
matter
what i
got or
what i think
i lost

all that
matters is
i'm here
in the now
ready to love
some more

___

for heather

Friday, September 29, 2017

for most
words become too important
if typed up

then we
punch at them
like the empty things
they are

there were
poets who wanted to live
only for writing
to be able to have
the words

and knew
poverty would
follow

oh to see the world
and live only for poetry

every writing
more precious

than amber
than pearls
or carbuncles


Thursday, September 28, 2017

Recollection

i have not seen you for at least 3 years
might be more than that

today i looked at a picture i have of you
for the first time in all those years

i had deliberately not looked
at any pictures

i didn't know what would happen
would i go crazy would i be angry

i felt very little

i was surprised because i recognized you
at the same time your face was like that of a stranger

i did not see the person
i remember in the photograph

i am not the person who loved you

i have a pair of jeans that were brand new
when i met you and we were together

they are falling apart now and patched
still my favorite but all worn out


____

9.28.17



Tuesday, September 26, 2017

For Richard

his eyes are clear
he suffers no fools
but he is kind as well
surprise the light of
unexpected ways

sometimes
he'd do a kind thing
not to be caught
and smile to himself
joy unchained

open yet deep
at times so deep
knowable like
a quiet space
favorite place

he moves gracefully
if he is on the lake
he was the water
the sky

his eyes are blue
the feeling of lightening
just before or after
a storm

you do not see him
in one place
he is everywhere


____

For Richard


Saturday, September 23, 2017

never separated

my lack of discipline
i call motivating ego

my hypocrisy i call
natural contradictions

it all breaths fear
of what will happen next

i am the cause of my own
actions and selfishness

i can stay this way
or i am free to change

i can through action
reveal a higher perception

no longer blame
you or others for failings

i can be diligent
devoted and tolerant

and even find that
i have been never separated

from my faith