Friday, June 27, 2014

Valley of the Minotaur Game Found -- Artwork

My dad saved it, my mother found it. I have a copy of Valley of the Minotaur. The disk looks good. There is a service in Tustin that can transfer the files.

Previous post about VOTM, with some background info on the game.

Dream Debate on the Properties of Rain

that night
it was simple
we debated on the rain

if it should fall up
or fall down

and how
evenly spaced
should the drops be


had a chance to share

and no ones
feelings were hurt


Summer 2014

Thursday, June 26, 2014

The Great Black Bird with a Pearl White Beak

"Birds fly in my windows, and tell me things. The little darlings." he said to me.

"So that is how you know what is going on?"

"Yes, I trained birds to go about and then come back and give me the news. I'm very proud of them." he said.

"How do you teach birds to go about and then come back and tell you things?"

"Oh, that is easy -- with rhinestones, bits of strings,  and snacks. Works every time."

"Anything unusual happen?"

"Yes, I have noticed that occasionally there extra birds that I did not train, that come by. A bit unusual."


"Now and again. Hard to tell."

"Oh, and what are these birds like?"

"I can't generalize -- you see -- they tend to be very different, each one. The unique birds."

"Are they bigger than the birds you use?

"Well, some of them are bigger, some are faster, brighter, darker -- some are quite dangerous. You never know."

"And what do the special birds tell you?"

"Oh dear, I call then "non-repeaters". Because they never come back."

"And what do these "non-repeaters" tell you?"

"All kinds of things -- especially breaking news, sometime on things that are yet to have happened, or are happening far away. It can be upsetting."

"Oh, like how?"

"This very pretty small one, littler than a hummingbird came by just before you came here to interview me. And it told me."

"Told you?"

"That you are dead, you died yesterday. Freak accident."

And I tried to open the door to leave, and I saw he was right. And then the room seemed to be full of birds, and he was a great back bird with a pearl white beak.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Poem - nothing unusual was happening in my dreams / early before dawn

nothing unusual was happening in my dreams
early before dawn

i was meeting with bright beings and angels
and talking about the good things
that could be done today
over coffee in a diner



Poem - dust on the photos

dust on the photos
look like stars under the scanner
a blanket of them over
your bridal shower and triumphant wedding



Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Getting Tube Socks in a Dream

We do this wrathful meditation practice for several days, 16 hours a day -- and I clean the glass cases that Dudjom Rinpoche and Thinely Norbu Rinpoche's relics are in.  And one night I dream that the wisdom deity, Troma, she's there in the room, you can't see her. But she is there.

I am sitting in the translators place, next to where the Lamas sit. People are coming up to me, giving me a single pair of black fuzzy tube socks, in a gallon ziplock bag. There are some shiny little candies or offerings in each bag as well.

I get about 600 or 800 of these offerings, or gifts. I have no idea what it means, but thank you.


Pema Osel Ling
Just after the First Day of Summer

Monday, June 23, 2014

Poem - Waking the Innocent

i'm a stranger in my own life
the moon has burned down
 not the barn
and the barn is brighter

i'm a beggar cleaning cases barefoot
 apologizing to the saints
with sawdust falling on precious stupa maseratis
monuments covered in gems 

i'm a fool who wants to get lucky
an idiot who marches up and down the hills
 believing fit people
must have more faith

i'm the one praying at night or early in the morning
before dawn praying my heart out but finding 
 i just wake the innocent
from great dreams


but no trouble at all 
the moon comes back from nothing
 all the time 
over stalwart barns stuffed with treasure
never-mind what burns


Santa Cruz / Huntington Beach
Two Days after the first day of Summer 2014

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Hundreds of Firefiles

That dark afternoon, it honestly felt like the world was going to end. Multiple thunder storms and tornadoes had touched down all around Oak Park. People locked their storm doors and windows to keep them from being blown open. He could see lightening stinking all around the building, every few minutes. The frame of the flat groaned. But he couldn't take himself away from the window, holding up the sash, seeing the wind blow things down the street -- of cars hurrying, their headlamps weak and indifferent. He would take a break, and lay down, then get back up and look out the windows more. Then it passed. Beneath masses of moving ragged clouds, the sun was low in the sky.

It was still steamy and warm. He walked into the backyard, the garden was huge and green. He saw hundreds of fireflies. A bit drunk, he almost saw them with the astonishment of a child. The wonder faded with the calculations of getting to a bar. Subtle, looming guilt.


Lombard Street
Oak Park IL

Monday, June 09, 2014

The Case of Beer

When he got sober, about 2 or 3 weeks into it, the neighbors downstairs had a party, and they left a half-open case of beer in the stairwell. The stairwell was enclosed. He'd walk past the half-opened case of beer for months afterwards, several times a day. The tops of the beers got dusty and white. He didn't drink. But he walked past that case of beer a lot.


Lombard Street
Oak Park
May 2010

Thursday, June 05, 2014

My Life is Like a River

I did something important today, and when I had gotten it done, I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders, and a twinge or remorse. Realization came to me: I have a certain amount of immaturity, even in my mid forties. It keeps me from doing things, sometime important things. It has also caused me conflict and heartache. I can clearly see where it originates from, and it has to do with the way I grew up -- but my parents can't be blamed for it. It has to do with certain attitudes I chose to adopt, and forgot. I feel bad, in a way, I imagine it has been frustrating for my parents to see me making certain mistakes. My mom and dad are excellent parents. They gave me and my sister everything they could. The good news is, I have never appreciated my parents more. I love them more and more, the more I comprehend what they did for us. I'm terribly lucky. Or very lucky. I can see some of the things I kept hidden or denied from myself, and now I can actually do something about them -- or even act differently. Certain flaws of character. My life is like a river, and it is connected from one end to the other. But ultimately there is no end, or start.

The last miracle is to be able look at myself, see where I seem to be falling short, and not be angry with myself -- or with others. This has been coming to me as well. It takes some spiritual work to get there.  It comes from being less selfish towards myself and others.