Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Poem - The unknown person


The unknown person

Like seeing a ship at night

Or a sail or lantern of that same boat

On the horizon

How mysterious it is

It could be coming or going

Depends on the time
 
Or a feeling


*


The sea rules


In measureless depths


And the unknown person


Is a reflection of it



.
 
 
 

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Poem - Action

More thoughts, a string vibrating
easily taken by happiness
just as prone to being swamped
by doubts and anger

But somehow I am better than you
I think, more virtuous
or more capable at understanding
how we have no center

Then with appreciation of my arrogance
my high pride, how this
makes me worse than blind
because I feel special

.

I asked him what to do
and he said one word "Action!"

.

-----

Quail Meadow
August 2013

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Vivaldi: Concerto #8 in g RV 332

if you ever were in love with me
you'll think of me unexpectedly
when you see or hear something
that pleases you

because not everyone knows
how beautiful things can be


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5vicJ7Vqk4

-------

Quail Meadow
August 2013

Thursday, August 15, 2013

005. Simoleons? Bread? Moola?

The day is bright and there is too much frosted white here. White, white white. And glass. Or plastic walls. They say it feels clean.

The day is white like a vibrating snare drum, I think. Snare drum. Skin stretched on a metal circle.

"Do you know what a snare drum is?" I ask one of the youngsters, Rex, as he brings in a white tray.

"Golly, Mr. Evans!"

"Do you know what a snare drum is?"

"No I don't!"

I have lived long enough so a kid does not know what a snare drum is. Not the faintest idea. Like when I was a kid, I wouldn't have known what a powder horn was.

"Hey Rex! Do you know what a powder horn is?"

"You know, I think I do know what a 'powder horn' is!" he says, smiling brightly. "I saw one in the Smithsonian, it had to do with antique rifles. George Washington used one!"

Goddamn it!

Rex smiles and he checks the wall, answers a few messages, and lines up a few things so they look neat.

I see a light on the wall, a dot. It is the size of a dime. I'm thinking money has been illegal for about 35 years.

"Do you know what a wallet is, Rex? "

"Wow, Mr. Evans! You crack me up! See you later."

"OK, Rex."

"Cat tryout time will be at 6 tonight!"

That's right. I forgot. If I'm extra good, I get a cat.

I'll name him Moola.

------

Rengszal Retirement Village
formerly Palo Alto, CA
September, 2055

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

004. Mariner 5

PHOEBOS: MARINER 5 :  LINE OPEN

PHOEBOS: MARINER 5 :    DADDA WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING THERE?

DADDA: RENGZL :    WHYAT I

PHOEBOS: MARINER 5:    DAD IT IS AUTOMATIC JUST TALK TO THE WALL THIS MESSAGE IS ON

DADDA: RENGZL :    I SEE

PHOEBOS: MARINER 5:    I WAS WORRIED SICK

DADDA: RENGZL :    OH DON’T WORRY IT IS FINE JUST FINE

PHOEBOS: MARINER 5:    I AM GOING TO CUT MY CONTRACT SHORT

DADDA: RENGZL:    WHAT ARE YOU SAYING

PHOEBOS: MARINER 5:    YOU READ IT RIGHT I WILL COME BACK IN TWO MONTHS IF YOU KEEP DOING THINGS LIKE THIS

DADDA: RENGZL :    NO NO NO WE ARE FINE HERE

PHOEBOS: MARINER 5:    I WAS WORRIED SICK

DADDA: RENGZL :    OH DON’T WORRY

PHOEBOS: MARINER 5:    I WAS WORRIED SICK ONE LAST CHANCE DADDA

DADDA: RENGZL :    WHAT I Y BEOS L M

PHOEBOS: MARINER 5:    TALK RIGHT TO THE TEXT IN THE WALL DADDA

DADDA: RENGZL :    I WAS SAYING EVERYTHING IS FINE HERE

PHOEBOS: MARINER 5:    NO MORE ADVENTURES

DADDA: RENGZL :    OK

PHOEBOS: MARINER 5:    PROMISE ME

DADDA: RENGZL :    I WAS SAYING EVERYTHING IS FINE HERE

PHOEBOS: MARINER 5:    I KNOW WHAT YOU SAID

DADDA: RENGZL :    OK

PHOEBOS: MARINER 5:    BE GOOD

DADDA: RENGZL :    EVERYTHING IS FINE HERE

PHOEBOS: MARINER 5:    OK BUT BE GOOD OR IM COMING BACK EARLY

DADDA: RENGZL :    NO NO ALL IS WELL

PHOEBOS: MARINER 5:    ARRG I HATE WHEN YOU SAY THAT

DADDA: RENGZL :    OK

PHOEBOS: MARINER 5:    GOODNIGHT GO TO BED

DADDA: RENGZL :    GOING TO BED

PHOEBOS: MARINER 5:    I LOVE YOU

DADDA: RENGZL :    I KNOW THANK YOU

PHOEBOS: MARINER 5:    AND?

DADDA: RENGZL :    I LOVE YOU TOO
PHOEBOS: MARINER 5 : TRANSMISSION END
-----

Rengszal Retirement Village
formerly Palo Alto, CA

Spetember, 2055

003. The Ruins

I meditate a lot, and sometimes I forget where I am, or how I got somewhere. I'm looking at the stubs of what used to be a building, a home. The road is barely noticeable in the dunes, beach grass, and scrub. The wind is blowing and is cold.

"Was this the place?" says my grandson.

"Yes."

There is blue smoke in the air, from the fishing shacks that are 4 miles down near the bay.

"We stayed here, the teenagers had a 'girl-cave' in the bottom of the house." I say, to make it more reasonable we are here.

"People fish here still. Incredible!"

"Yes."

"Do they eat the fish, too?"

"Yes."

The fishing shacks are more like hovels, built with no discernible pattern. The wood they are built out of looks dull grey, and silver. We can see specks, people, that seem to limp or crawl about.

"We should be going."

"Yes."

We hear a strangled cat-like noise, and there is a person who has come from around a dune. It looks like a woman. She is maimed, blistered, and dressed in rags. She holds her arms out to us plaintively.

My grandson moves quickly to be between me and the woman. He takes a silver thing out of his pocket. She stands there, looking over his shoulder at me.

"We should be going."

"Yes."

As we trace our way back, she just stands there arms still wide open like a statue, only her old rags moving when the wind blows. She never stops looking at me.

I look back a few times, when I think my grandson is not looking at me.

My grandson sees anyways.

*

We're standing by the car. My grandson is calm.

"Before we go, use the bag, Gramps. Get in all the way this time, and press the green button."

"And wait 45 seconds." I say, wanting to please him, have him feel better about the upset.

"Exactly."

We both do the routine with the Clean Bag.

When we are done, I see the pooling dark and I can see the moon rising, with a star, over the ocean. We take off.

Not a speck of dirt or sand in the car this time.

*

Halfway back, as the car calculates, my grandson speaks.

"My mom is going to go nuts."

"How so?"

"Grandpa - you know she told me to keep an eye on you."

We don't say anything for the rest of the way.

When I get out, he waves at me wordlessly, and is gone before I get to the exit.

When I lay down, I can't sleep.



----

Bodega Bay
Zone 2 /
Rengszal Retirement Village
September 2055





002. A Trip to Bodega Bay

My grandson will play cards with me, Servicer dirigible is coming in, I can hear it buzzing. My grandson is in his Workout Uniform, which means he's in a bad mood, but I can't help myself.

"Let's go to Bodega Bay."

"What Gramps?" he says with a hint of exasperation in his voice, still polite.

"Bodega Bay."

"Gramps, you know how it is to go to places like Bodega Bay."

"Why so?"

"Sand is dirty. Remember last time how much I had to clean, after we took a trip to Bodega Bay? Nobody does it."

The Servicer is almost here, making a racket.

"I guess so." I say, feeling just a bit pushy. But giving up on the idea.

"I dug holes there with you dad when he was a kid, a little younger than you." I say before I can stop myself.

"A lot younger." He says.

"You saw the pics?"

"Yeah, Gramps."

"We had a good time, your Dad and me. With his cousins."

The wall trills.

"Yeah?" I say.

"So you do answer!" says my grandson, with a cross look on his face. He throws his cards down.

"What? Nevermind! Its Van Dyke." I talk quickly in 'coded oldster' language to Van Dyke, for about 15 seconds. Van Dyke gets it. I hang up.

My grandson looks at me suspiciously like I'm planning illegal things, like looking at porno or drinking alcohol. As if!

He takes advantage of the situation.

"Gramps! Stop driving Mom and Dad nuts with the not answering."

"Ok, kid. Ok."

The Servicer lands, it isn't making any more noise.

"I can take you to Bodega bay."

"Oh, really?" I feign forgetfully.

"Gramps -- you crack me up. I can go next week."

My grandson -- he's smart as a whip.

-----

Rengszal Retirement Village
formerly Palo Alto, CA

August, 2055




001. The Ringing Plastic Wall

This morning, in my new place the family moved me to, I hear an old style telephone ringing. It rings and rings.

I cannot answer it, because it is the wall. A cream-colored featureless plastic wall.

I decide to take a walk.

"Gamps, ya gotta answer when I call you." my grandson says when he visits me.

"Hey pal, I don't know what your talking about."

"Gramps, I've been trying to get you to answer all morning."

"How so?"

My grandson touches the sleeve of his business suit, and we hear the telephone noise again.

"There it is." he says.

"Where is it?"

"There -- hear it!"

"Its a plastic wall."

"Exactly!"

"Why a wall?"

"Gramps -- everybody has one. Especially oldsters."

"Why?"

"You know, Gramps. You can't lose it. Plus 'I've fallen and I can't get up...'"

"Thanks kid."

"I love you, Grandpa" says my grandson, surreptitiously shining chat through his class ring into his eye.

We hug, he always hugs me when he goes, no matter how busy he is. I wave to him as he takes off from the roof. He's a good kid.

Later, the wall starts ringing again.

I decide to take a walk.

----

Rengszal Retirement Village
formerly Palo Alto, CA
August, 2055

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Two Random Quotes

"Usually the use of sarcasm is not a sign of spiritual progress."

"Being angry, or resentful, and then acting on this -- it is like using a bulldozer to bake a cake."

  - A.


.

Monday, August 12, 2013

Poem - I think tonight

I think tonight
that God was in a good mood
when he made me

and so I'm going
to return the favor,
and be in a good mood
towards everybody else
who is here.



----

Quail Meadow
August 2013

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Tamer and Hardly Running Away

I'm up early again, riding my bike before dawn. Solitary, going to meetings. As I should be, I see.

It was like this when I first got sober, in Chicago. A clown on a bike, with nobody around, the fading moon or a star over my shoulder as I go. All respectable people who have no problems, asleep or trying to wake up.

The bike lanes are wider here, the roads smoother, with no parked cars to negotiate around.

Along the way I see bunnies, like in Oak Park -- they are tamer and hardly run away from me when I pass them.

-----

Irvine
August 2013

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Poem - Looking at Pictures

They are happy
they cling together
they are smiling
they never stay together

There is always
someone new
in the picture


But it looks good
all this happiness
and all this smiling

Is there Hell behind
or soft pillows of Heaven
no conscious human
can abide with

I don't know

Poem - Appearances / A Hundred Thousand Meteors Will Fall in the Sky Tonight

A hundred thousand meteors
will fall in the sky
tonight.


  I hope I was false enough
  or encouraging enough
  or angry enough
  or sad enough
  or firm enough
  or kind enough
  or perceptive enough
  or real enough
  or happy enough
  or scary enough
  or lovely enough
  or faithful enough
  or brave enough

  However you saw me
  I hope you won't forget about me

  And I hope it was as it should have appeared

  For your safety
  security
  peace of mind
  well-being.


A hundred thousand meteors
will fall in the sky
tonight.





.

Thursday, August 08, 2013

News: CM Evans in the Napa Valley Register

Here is a link to the Napa Valley Register -- you can see how a person is supposed to roll. That Uncle Chris dude is perfect.

http://napavalleyregister.com/lifestyles/columnists/jennifer-huffman/who-me-serious/article_c8656b02-fcce-11e2-83f9-0019bb2963f4.html

Poem - The Mind

The mind is like an eternal hammer and anvil,
our thoughts are like red hot bars of steel
to make into wonderful things --

Strike when the material is burning,
and shower your life with the sparks.


.

Wednesday, August 07, 2013

Problem Solved

Which reminds me of a dream I had last night. There was some kind of problem, and the solution for it was quite simple and sane:

1. Dress up like a banana
2. Eat bananas


----

OK go do it!

Poem - Ringsal

they incinerate you
and gems and other precious substances
spill out of your body in handfuls

they call this 'ringsal'
i am told and it is very holy
'ringsal' 'ringsal' 'ringsal'

i cry


.

Lama Tharchin

Poem - on gozo calypso held odysseus

on gozo calypso held odysseus
in her love for many years
and he suffered longing on
scenic hills

looking over the ocean
towards home

for seven years she begged him
to let her make him immortal
for her love could do this if accepted
but he refused

many men reject
this gift from a woman



.

Monday, August 05, 2013

Gozo Loves Double-Speak

Gozo loves double-speak. And he loves the news. Now when he's outright lying -- he'll just say he's 'recreating the narrative by employing parallel construction.'

Gozo tries this with Ella.

"Would you like some kinetic education?" asks Ella sweetly like an angel.

"What is kinetic education?"

"It is when I beat your ass 'till yer dead, with a baseball bat."


.

Cartoon -- A Scoop of LA Zeitgeist / Midnight LA Cartoon no. 2

Another cartoon drawn at 'The Pikey'.



CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon -- A Scoop of LA Zeitgeist / Midnight LA Cartoon no.1

A scoop of LA zeitgeist.


Drawn at 'The Pikey' on W Sunset Boulevard. We had a good old time.

CM Evans Cartoons

Thursday, August 01, 2013

Poem - If he was less



If he was less
He’d be distressed with me
For being upset that he is out
Now that I cannot find him bodily
He is nowhere to be found
He is everywhere
I have to live and wake up
Through my dreamy
Dreams
He is smiling at us
As we keep playing
Cops n robbers inside the house

----
 
Om Mani Padme Hung

Lama Tharchin Rinpoche
Tenth lineage holder of the Repkong Ngakpas
July 22, 2013