Poem: trying not to fall over/ or into my past

trying not to fall over
or into my past

seeing it remembered
as decorations

rather than
mistakes or has beens

let us go lightly
if we do remember

the past is helpless
cannot defend against

idle probing
examination and thinking

do i realize
past is an illusion

do i realize
no one is there

do i see
there is only now



***

Poem: Flintwood Drive

mid-morning was oddly calm
serene in the view of everything
all around you had been incinerated
chimneys chimneys chimneys
piles of tile and appliances
some larger trees might come back
over ashes of my grandparent's house



all still in place in some order
despite the firestorm
where the gutters fell and twisted
one barrier you step over
to the main beam facing the front
of the garage that falls mostly intact
but charred all over it is solid piece of wood

you find things where they fell
or where something else covered them
the white ash layer has been rained on
now the consistency of cake frosting
sticks to your boots and hands
won't let go
looks pristine where you didn't touch it

a car with plates from oregon
drives slowly by and they slow down
to take their own pictures
the neighbors house has seven bicycles
all of them burned
lined up as a ghost parade
burned and then all rusted
eventually everything left is rusted
if it can





meanwhile mind goes up to the edge of feeling
then comes back mind goes up to an edge
pulls back and so on like waves
on a shore
but this is your heart and your mind clashing
somehow attempting to come to terms
with something that will not ever
be fully understood




----

Flintwood Drive
Santa Rosa
11.22.17

Poem: house / or apples under a tree

it takes faith to lose faith
and find new faith

the kind of faith
that brings you courage

drop what you think
give up what you hold

then we see
what we really are

consciousness as
luminous and deep as
a predawn sky

like with as
a billion billion
stars at night

going beyond
here and there

beyond
last weeks news

house
or apples under a tree



**

Clement Ct.

Napa CA
11.21.17

Poem: everyone is open to wonder/ we are doomed if we deny this

everyone is open to wonder
we are doomed if we deny this

but not for long
the wonder is ceaseless



***

Poem: love is like music

love is like music
we are the discordant notes
because love is perfect

with practice
you may learn to harmonize
but you'll never control

it can come and go
as quickly as it wants
stay or be gone forever or both




***

from the Forest of Love
11.20.17

Poem: we visit the dairy/ at the crossroads/ of three ways

we visit the dairy
at the crossroads
of three ways
it has burned down

fire is violent
the buildings
blackened torn
exploded

it was on
the edge
of the great wave
of flames
that swept over
short of napa

like a knife
the size of the sky
the fire moved
down the ridge
and the
point landed
in the dairy's
front yard

we visit the dairy
at the crossroads
of three ways
it is an example

of how some are
fortunate to be alive
and others are not


----

Napa Road at Highway 121
11.19.17

Poem: only/ the continuing strain

for Alpha and Latif

walking this country road
thoughts come and go quickly
like the small birds that land
on the wire fence of the pasture
thoughts as constant as
the flock with a mini flurry
all rush
at once into the grass


**

we are always thinking
imaging to be diligent and firm
having no hypocrisy but we'd could be
as easily in the opposite direction
with no overwhelming
conviction or offence
only
the continuing strain


**


the only action thus
is to be kind to others
for the sake of kindness
for the mercy of mercy
for the desire to not scatter them
for they will go
in all directions
with one unkind word


****

Napa, CA
11.19.17

Poem: follow the lines of the trees

follow the lines of the trees
starting in the confused tangle
of all this earth below and
winter forest with bracken
the branches raising up
crossing one another and reaching
up up up they go reaching
until they seem to enter the sky
when snow is falling and you are quiet
when you sense it you may
suddenly feel a hush and pray
of all the wonderful ways
we are ushered into this endless sky



**

In the Fields of
Osseo

Poem: is there/ is here

frustrated when circumstances come to fruition
like clapping your hands and being upset
at the echoes

or

deciding to be in a mood
like choosing a hat or pants or jacket
and saying this is who i am

because

opinions are just like this
we try them on and use some of them
say it is us until they become threadbare

every idea or opinion
has worn out eventually though use
to be replaced by a new one

so

why do we need them if these are so false
why why indeed
why why indeed

is there emptiness beyond thought and mood
is there
is there



**

Poem: i am on my own/ you are too

i am on my own
you are too

facing days
with a certain ache

but some are
stronger than others

they can bear it
or even enjoy this

strangers amongst strangers
driving home

at the supermarket

at the gym

everywhere



**

The Thunderbolt

where you are
if you can see us
i'd bet you'd be amused

me writing poems
about missing you

you'd hope they'd
be good ones

but we both know
how limited this
thinking is

there's not
a lot of material

left to ponder
and wax on about

the rest of it
tends to prattle
gradually become

a thousand misremebers
flawed all saying

we are the essence the
pith of what was

representing
compelling nothing

..

but the
electric essence
of you the boom

the crash
the explosion and flash

as nature
the thunderbolt

this was you
and it is burned
into my heart


-----

for Robert Funge

Poem: regarding new fallen snow

a soft snowy night
the flakes all fallen
in a bed of white

one requires nothing
other than this snow

all thoughts gone
worry unknown

self entranced
any questions beguiled

regarding new fallen snow

---

Eagle Lake
11.10.17

Poem: i have hope/ when i look up/ at the gently snowing sky

i have hope
when i look up
at the gently snowing sky

i can imagine
stepping on the big flakes
as they gently twirl down

how high
could i climb when
the big snow gently falls

up to a place
where i could easily see
the whole town and even city

and the country
all around on both sides
with lakes and trees and fields

there i'd even
be able to see you
and you could see me

waving and
smiling in the
gently snowing sky



**

Poem: to support the assertion/ you can catch the magic snowflake

to support the assertion
you can catch the magic snowflake
on the tip of your nose
if you practice
i will try
all winter whenever it snows

and also dance with a friend if i can
in a field or on a path
or on the sidewalk

we'll laugh so much
but be up to the challenge
and that is what
the finer things in life
are about


***

Poem: go / beyond your every thought/ and every plan

do you see this striving
no i am not like you
i am not like your faults

the more i say i am not
the more i testify it is so
we are one and same

but to be human is to defer
how we are identical and afraid
praise supposed uniqueness

this becoming possibly
a terminal desease
of denial and anger

we theorize on claims
of heroism and courage
stories of where we've been

but the bucket of self
is just that a bucket
broken in the bottom

even god or death
cannot fill it


*


go beyond
your every thought
faults and every plan



**

facing an empty window
with a pristine crescent moon
no stars in view

the heart beats faster
just like it does in deepest night
you alone in a forest

fear and wonder
of the same clothes same cloth
mind saying yes or no

all of us naked
underneath all our projects
all our opinions

facing windows
forests and darkness nights
with others or alone


000

occasional snowflake
& thought of you

both appear
at the same time

and both
are wonderful




***

Poem: now you're there in the museum of thought

i thought i was getting to know you
truth is i don't really know what it was, what is thought
you'd rather find someone else

i know nothing of others
though i think at times i can guess
will i always be wrong, i don't know

i always wanted to be the one
who deals with regret swiftly and decisively, then forgets
but i'll be thinking about you from time to time

i do think about the places i've been
and the people i've met and seen
now you're there in the museum of thought

____

11.03.17

are you in
the house of
a dream

or memory of
a memory of
a memory

clap do you
hear clapping
more applause

singing
accompanied by
other singers

if so
you are as
blessed as me

the luckiest
human ever
thought



**

falling stars
cosmic blossoms
again today

joys appearing
disappearing
reappearing

never knowing
where they go
seeing more

swirls at play
in empty space
making it alive

brilliant and
fragile like us
and brilliant


***

11.01.17