everytime i have the dream

 everytime i have the dream

i can't remember 

and i dream it another time

i always say 'geeze it is good

to be back in this dream! one of 

the best dreams of all time,

now that i remember i remember

it.' and i'm sure after this i

take off my coat look around and

sigh 

___

for 2021

12.31.21

in the sparkling night

in the sparkling night

there are places to land

we work on a puzzle of

'the dream' by rousseau

we might watch the festivities

faraway in nyc or vegas

but we don't because

you are and i here and

this is where it is turkey

stiches and staples

peanut butter dog treats

*

it isn't good to wait

it isn't good to wait
but i do 

it is my default 

spiritual practice

or lack of any

proper practice

so i'll rouse myself

goad myself

to appear 

otherwise

and sometimes

i am different

and i am

true

the universe

has a great 

sense of

humor

and will work 

with me

and with 

whatever

i think

__

the night sky is not out of hand

the night sky is not out of hand

the stars are not out of hand

the moon is not out of hand

the bare trees are not out of hand

the snowy rooftops are not out of hand

nor the warm houses

nor the bright kitchens

nor the leaking washer

nor the clogged drain

8

sensible dreams

sensible dreams

sensible answers

don't play out 

in sensible life

but why is this

there are so 

many dreams

and so many

dream answers
for sensible life

_

this day

this day

the only place

it is marred

is where we step

or think

+

in my lies / like soft leaves

in my lies 

like soft leaves

sometimes a truth

like a thorn 

draws blood

because this

is how cowards

tell the truth

*

1,000 times in a row

it is a longer journey
with one day to go

an extra day

the flight delayed

now instead of 

4 hours it will be 8

flying on new years

eve getting in late

but home is home

and the heart 

flys on the way

is there and back 

1,000 times in a row

with every imagining

with every thing

that you missed

*

brother and sister / they fight the cats

brother and sister

they fight the cats

over any perch 

the female is

the little one

so gets muscled

out of a sunny spot

i try to play solomon

or god by intervening

but instead cause

unending confusion

and alarm

*

all is un evident and subject to change

all is un evident and subject to change

but here is the end of a rope

you can pull if you want

i saw william blake last night

i saw william blake last night
pushing a baby carriage with mao tse tung in it

i was on the other side of the street
but i waved

they waved back

*

when were we shown

when were we shown

the door to the world of dreams was closed

like the doors of many a church

or other a sacred place of worship 

so what a holy thing to dream

the land of dreams 

all are welcome 

and none denied

*

making shadow art

making shadow art

out of broken shards of metal

the artist forms something that looks soft

when seen as a silhouette or through a tunnel

so are we to god

*

a model day to learn

a model day to learn

how to be good and kind

even if you might need

a new washer 

you opened it up

without breaking it

and looked inside

shone a light 

there's a place

dark emerald green

where the water

has dropped dropped

drip

drip

*

every little thing cannot be surpassed

every little thing cannot be surpassed

especially the eyes that you could swim in 

for 10,000 years

*

they sell false memorabilia

they sell false memorabilia

but i am false too so for me it is real

*

do you know what you mean

do you know what you mean

steady and clear because i don't

the bright side of me i show is show

in reality i'm more dark and varied

but you know and there's the struggle

aiming to be less of the past 

and of the automatic drabness

that formed up out of indifference or fear

or a reaction to cruelness within and without

is it really possible to be something new

a surprising and delightful creature

as truthful as disarming and joyous sharing

borne from the disaster of burning and breaking

lies failure and striving against false imagination

well here we are and it can be so it can be true

i'm making my way by being here with you

doing very ordinary and occasional extraordinary things

i catch you throw or i juggle and you hold

i sing you dance we find the lost wallet or pants

here we are so it can be true we transform then it is evident

neither of us required a clash or a struggle

we are painlessly bright and absolutely undimmed

shadows and murmurs just the passing of conditions

behind all this was and still is and always will be

the keenest clarity the finest light the clearest sight absolutely

__

the day supporting us

because the day is bright
it is cold 

son and daughter visiting

so is the freeze

more bright days ahead

steady and frigid

they fly back tomorrow

to a warmer climate

i notice every moment 

is precious and if i try

to eke out more meaning

time just goes quicker

we're sitting here

in the living room

still slightly askew

from christmas 

bits of wrapping paper

ribbon under cushions

a stray gift or

memento on the floor

i feel like never

cleaning up these poofs

when these were here

my kids were here

but then i do clean up

order is swift and silent

when my hands are still

the wood floors are mute

kids bags packed

eyes look toward the door

i give them a good smile

see you next time

the day supporting us all
never stops 

brighter brighter and

even colder

the day supporting us 

never stops 

*

there's small flakes flying

there's small flakes flying

the dog won't go pee

because she doesn't like the cold

so i carve out a place

where you can see the grass

the small dog goes for a long time

looking at me gratefully 

*

i take snow off the roof

i take snow off the roof

rake it off

there's a place where

ice can build up 

when i go take snow 

off the garage 

my neighbor says

there's no need

i reply see how 

the roof sags

even without snow

it sags 

my neighbor says

they made the garage cheap

just like everything

back in those days

and so i nod and agree

but take snow off the garage

because it would be strange

to quit over what he thinks

__

there's a hardness in your eye / i wish you would avoid

there's a hardness in your eye

i wish you would avoid

or i think you should turn from 

but who am i to comment on what

might be needed or expedient

to get through a series of days 

i've done it too walked down long halls

or on streets that i didn't want to know

waiting hoping and saying it will change

and everything changes nothing is fixed

where we are now is evolving building up

or seeming to fall down and go but actually neither

we are like water in water mixing

or like breathless the stars that never shirk

consoled by siddhis or some kind of grace 

though their abundance 

seems impossible or exotic

i have faith you and i will find it too

---

i am going up

i am going up

i am going down

whatever i choose 

to say

--

12/22/21

each day goes faster and faster

each day goes faster and faster

with all the snow and frost

i am the dog at the door 

not wanting to go out 

i am the street and the plow

i am every family worry 

every magic story

every unexpected beautiful 

christmas tree

--

other parts of the soul

other parts of the soul

expressed through a poem

some writing is sparked off it 

other writings are fragments of  

soul especially crazed and textured

when broken 

a shower of stars 

unending noise

red gold purple sunset

--

he waits for the dog

he waits for the dog

the dog is sleeping

on an old towel in the kitchen

cat still waits for the dog

staring from the bedroom 

as if something would happen

but the dog is lonely

and doesn't care 

waiting for people 

to come home

----

the trace of wind

the trace of wind 

blowing just a bit of snow

like a veil over the yard

rooftop to ground 

where tracks show

the rabbits live

where i piled logs

and branches 

pine needles

on top for a snug winter home

__

SLP

12.19.21

the well

the well

is my mind

and it is empty

even though

i kept

looking into it

expecting to find

something

other than

mind

or

no mind

stop behold now

stop behold now

the snow falls like

that in a snow globe

tires and feet carve paths

below in white slush

every cut and mark 

indifferent like to 

the snow globe snow

or the mind we live in 

all being pure 

and no rushing about

will deny or improve it

__

CM Evans

i go to the dentist

i go to the dentist

he puts a small table and chair on my tooth

then he puts on a small table cloth

a plate and spoon and fork and knife

he serves a small roast

with all the fixings

with a miniature candelabra and candles

the dessert will be just a bit late

but the micro baked buns are on time

they smell good

don't bite down he says

_

all of my nonsense

a we're all glad to be here

but please get on with it 

all of my nonsense

is homemade

always it is 

freshly done

*

there is a promise of snow

there is a promise of snow

falling even falling full 

erasing all our coded thoughts

by covering completely 

all barriers and slights

bare trees will stand taller

darker than the sky while

a wind softly blowing crystals

touching a mouse or rabbit

as they navigate the night

then fall more snowflakes 

fall more until even the first tracks

are gone but for some faint marks

even later this too gone mute

until day makes its mark 

*

our village priest

our village priest hated us

so humble we appeared in our

rough sunday dress 

we like sheep 

while he prowled invested

in a kind of power and pride

thundering sermons on us

he'd spit almost on the book

looking up at heaven past the roof

pleading almost then back down

observing us made of mud

chapped hands shy faces

he had a remarkable friendship 

with widowed madame elle

she gave so much to the church

prim and proper even grand

everyone gratified (especially he) of their 

association and prestige

and what about the whisperings

ms. champigneul heard raised voices

at four o'clock in the morning 

in the countesses private rooms 

but then the old housekeeper 

sickly was suddenly ill and died

no more was said 

later our village priest

had traces of white in his hair

the color of poison 

he sat in the carriage

on a bright winter's day

after coming back from the city

after coming back from the bishop

and visiting a brothel

he admired the churches' 

gleaming 

tall white spire