Poem - in a joyful summetime/way

i go to the library
gotta get out of the house
when i come home
someone next door is bashing
the shit out of a piano

in a joyful summertime
way

A Quote from Paul Klee

I am an intense admirer of Paul Klee, whose works I have seen often in art books, and also, I saw some of his works in person, at the Guggenheim in NYC. I was looking him up today, and I found a very moving quote of his, from his tombstone:

I belong not only to this life. I live as well with the dead, as with those not born. Nearer to the heart of creation than others, but still too far.

That is a beautiful sentiment. I feel this way, too.

News - A Drug that Cures Shyness

Here is an article about a newfangled drug that cures shyness, based on the peptide Oxytocin. Gee, I thought small amounts of Lysergic acid did the same thing. Oh, that's right -- psychotropic unpatentable drugs like LSD are bad. Or all psychotropic drugs are just plain bad, because of the press. Thanks Timothy Leary and Richard Alpert. Oh, well.

Poem - i love you

i love you
i will be insufferable
i will call you by the wrong name
my pants will fall down
i will appear to be an idiot
to all of your sophisticate freinds
i will try to shore it up
and recover from my faux pas
but there will be too many of them
and none can be overcome
until you see that i love you
forever and forever
impossible as that may seem

Joppy in the Rain

Joppy is standing on the back porch, smoking, in the rain. Then, without warning, lightening strikes the top of the detached garage, 40 feet from him. KRRACK-BOOOM!! Astounded, Joppy sees for a split second, past the intense white flash, that there are little figures swimming in the lightening bolt. Little fairy-like creatures, with cute hats. He wonders if he will ever see them again. Joppy has in him now, a kind of wonder, a mystery he will never be able to solve, or come to grips with. Back inside the house, listening to the increased downpour, he writes a short poem. Joppy sees his hands are shaking slightly, not from drink, but from what he has seen. The short poem does not mention the people that live in lightening bolts, flying through the sky, everywhere.

No Holding onto No-Hold sez Chung Tzu

"I have no hold. And I have no means to hold." I say to Chung Tzu. "That's comforting."

"Well, good for you. But don't hold onto that." he replies.

The Order of the Soul

When I'm bored, and I want to try and figure out things, sometimes I resort to puzzling over Leonard Cohen lyrics. In the song "The Future", he sings:

The blizzard, the blizzard of the world
has crossed the threshold
and it has overturned
the order of the soul

Wow. I can get the "...blizzard of the world..." concept -- but what is "...the order of the soul..."? I wanna know about the order of the soul. Sorry, the Order of the Soul. Or, how the Soul is Ordered. But I looked around, even in real books that talk about stuff like that, and no luck. Lots of talk about souls, and kinds of souls, from all kinds of perspectives & traditions, but no discussion on order.

Oh, well. Some smart person reading this could give me a hint. I'm sure Leonard is sick to death on trying to explain what he was singing about.

gone dead i can't find it

it is gone dead i can't find it
no way to look it up via google
all these years past you at the time
commonplace and normal
irritating controversial in my face
old i made you cry

Try This Out - e.e. cummings through "nowever"

My best friend, musician & designer Evan Sornstein, has put out a CD of some of e.e. cumming's poetry. Evan worked on this project for at least a year, and when he was done, he released it as "nowever" through dynamophone records. If you like e. e. cummings, this may intrigue you. You may even discover I'm included in one of the tracks. Ha! Here is an interview of Evan discussing the motivation, and process behind the creation of his CD. Also, here is a link to Curiumlab, an online repository of some other examples of his music. Starting with industrial music in the late 1980s, with his band Battery, he's been an integral part of the SF alternative musical scene for over 20 years. He's regularly collaborated as part of Nux Vomica, as well. Evan continues to publish his work, and other musicians, through dynamophone.

Are you neurotic?

Via MetaFilter, are you neurotic? I have a few neurotic tenancies. Those who know me well, I hear you groaning at that statement. What do you mean, "..a few..."? If I drink directly from a tap, I never drink more than ten gulps of water, and I count the gulps. I save all my receipts, for no good reason whatsoever, and in my George Costanza-sized wallet, I carry a fake piece of eight, and the letter Q Scrabble tile (worth 10 points!). My first vehicle was a used faded orange Toyota truck, that I never washed, when I bought it, it had an action figure leg in the bed of the truck that I never removed, along with a section of small rusted spring. The entire time I owned the truck, I would make a mental note of the action figure leg, and the spring, every time I unlocked the vehicle. In Junior College and then in College, I pretty much exclusively wore a green army mechanics jumpsuit, three sizes too big, for about 5 years. When the buttons would fall off, I'd put them back on with paperclip wire, because wire was so much more durable than thread. Then I'd stuff all the oversized pockets with pens, papers, journals, books, so I looked like a hamster. I got tired of having to get haircuts, so I'd just put the 1 or the number 2 guard on electric clippers, and just shave my head. I have spontaneous arguments with inanimate objects, like trees, cups, and stoves. The inanimate object usually is right, and I am wrong.

our cats love us

this spring morning
they torture a small bird
and bring it half dead
to our bedroom

..

heute frühlingsmorgen
sie quälen einen kleinen vogel
und holen sie ihn beinahe absolut
zu unserem schlafzimmer

Do You Know the Way to San Jose?

I don't know if I should be sad, or happy, for the fact that I know what San Jose looked before, and then after, they completely redid their downtown.

News - McSweeney's Issue 27 is Now Released

I'm full of news nowadays. Amazing. McSweeney's Issue 27 is now out, you can order it from all kinds of places, including Amazon.com, City Lights Bookstore, or even directly from The McSweeney's Store. Included in this issue (which is broken into three separate books) is the cartoons I had in the apexart cartoon show, the work of the other artists in the show as well, plus a previously unpublished 72 page sketchbook by Art Spiegleman, and some new fiction by Stephen King.

the camera obscura is closed

i am shouting

i shout some more

the camera obscura is closed

it is so important

..

ich schreie

ich schreie mehr

das Kamera obscura ist geschlossen

es ist so wichtig

...

eu shouting

eu shout ainda mais

o obscura da câmera é fechado

é tão importante

....

я кричу

я кричу еще некоторые

камера обскура закрыта

настолько важно

.....

암소는 쥐를 미행한다

수다스러운 우는 백치

곧 나의 물통은 가득 차있을 것이다

나의 눈의 물에서 채우는

Lao Tzu, Chung Tzu, I & the Glass of Water

i.

I'm in the kitchen, getting a glass of water, when Lao Tzu come in.

"Hello, Lao Tzu." I say.

"Hello there." says Lao Tzu. "And what are you doing?"

"I am going to drink this glass of water." I reply.

"Ah!" says Lao Tzu. He laughs. "You shouldn't DRINK the glass of water. You should BE the glass of water."

Lao Tzu leaves before I can say anything back.

ii.

A bit later, I see Chung Tzu.

I show Chung Tzu the glass of water. "HERE is a glass of water. Lao Tzu says I should BE the glass of water, not DRINK it."

"Oh my." says Chung Tzu. "Oh deerie me. What can we do?"

Chung Tzu takes the glass of water. He looks at the water in the glass, over the top of the glass. Chung Tzu looks at the water through the sides of the glass. He looks at the water, in the glass, through the bottom of the glass.

Ching Tzu mentions me to come closer, and he suddenly dumps the entire glass of water over my head.

"Why did you do that!?" I yell.

"Hmmm." replies Chung Tzu. "From my experiment, I think in possibly 1,000,000 glasses of water, you may actually make some progress this way."

-- dedicated to J.P. Frary & N. Kerns

Chung Tzu & the Air-Conditioner

"I'm on fire." I say to Chung Tzu. "You're on fire. The whole World is on fire!"

We both look at Lao Tzu, who is smiling & seems to be asleep.

"EVEN THE SQUIRRELS ARE ON FIRE!" I explain.

"Damn, brother! All that kind of talk makes me feel hot!" says Chung Tzu. "Quick! Turn on the air-conditioner!"

Momo Says:
Oh, Chung Tzu!
If only we were as direct as he;
Seeing one reed different,
And the same as another!

News - Opium Magazine is on KQED Public Radio in SF

Opium Magazine, the online & offline literary magazine I edit cartoons for, is being featured on The Writers' Block, part of KQED Public Radio in San Francisco. They're running selections from Opium Magazine's 250-word Bookmark Contest. Hey -- and don't forget -- it isn't too late to submit entries for Opium Magazine's Shya Scanlon 7 Line Contest, the winner (and some runner-ups) being published in the next Opium Magazine .print edition, Opium7. If you win the contest, you get $1,000. Also, mentioning print...Opium6 just came off the presses -- Go Green! (But Save Me First). Here are some sneak peeks (via Opium's graphic designer, designer & overall Renaissance Man, Mr. David Barringer) at the contents of Opium6. Note who did a cartoon. I have a few in there, along with John Callahan. I can hardly wait to get my hands on a copy, it looks fun. Way to go Todd!

Starbucks, Do Something Quick About Your Stupid Size Names

I was reading this today, about irritating people you run into at Starbucks. I think no. 8 -- ordering from someone who refuses to equate what a "Small", "Medium", "Large", or "Extra-Large" drink is to the Starbuckian universe of "Short", "Tall", "Grande" and "Venti" has always irked the crap outta me. I realize this must be one of the oldest complaints in the history of Starbucks. But, Starbucks, seriously, these names you use for sizes is sooooo intuitive. Even if you go along with these stupid size names -- we go from the arbitrary English terms "Short" & "Tall", which could mean anything -- then suddenly we're all into Italian. Ok. "Grande" means "Big" in Italian. Fine. So I guess "Large" = "Big". But going with the Italian, "Venti" means "20". So "Extra Large" = "20". But the "Extra Large" is either 20 ounces for hot drinks or 24 ounces for iced drinks. So for any kind of consistency, why doesn't Starbucks call the "Grande", which is 16 ounces, a "Sedici"? Starbucks, why don't you make your contribution to world peace and the salvation of mankind and choose arbitrary English special size names for all your sizes, or go all Italian with size names that follow some kind of consistent rules? Since you're an American corporation, from Seattle, I'd encourage you to stick with English -- does that make sense? And we'll keep the first two size names, so as to not upset people who have been ordering the two smaller drinks since the 1970s. Here you go:

Suggested Revised Starbucks Arbitrary English Cup Size Names:

8 oz - Short
12 oz - Tall
16 oz - Spank My Puppy
20 oz - Spank My Puppy Hard
24 oz - Spank My Puppy Hard & Cry

I really want to try to wrap my brain around the size terminology when my brain is almost totally blacked out, and I need a large coffee, plus I'm hung over. But Starbucks, the name system you have for sizes is broken. But you'll never take a drink from the well of sanity and just go with "Small", "Medium", "Large", or "Extra-Large", will you?

A Visitation

I was sketching by the side of the road
sitting in a chair in the bed of my pickup
when he pulled over and asked if everything
was alright

I said everything was fine and he got
out of his car and he smiled and said
"Well, then, if everything is okay, please give
me all your money."

I told him I didn't have any money on me
but if he wanted, I would draw is portrait
"No thanks." he replied and he drove off

When he drove by later to see if I was still
there I waved

Old Christopher

i.

They say I do not know
Cathay
or any of its islands
thereabouts

"Liars!" I cry at them "Liars!"
till all my strength
is gone

I rest and watch
the seagulls
wheeling above
dazzling white walls

I pick any ripe
rancid olives that I can reach
from the trees
and I try to hit
the servants

ii.

People around me
whisper I have
gone mad in my old age

But I know I sailed
to Cathay four times
and if I had found
enough gold
I would have my own
villa on the highest hill
of this town

Noblemen and knights
would come from far away
for advice instead
of laughing
when they hear my name

If I was young and strong
I would sail there again!

iii.

But now my eyes ache
my knees hurt

And in hearing my story
no doubt you despise me
saying all I can do
is sit here
as a crazy old man

Well to hell with you
too!

I am to be reckoned with!

I demand it!

I was the KING of
lonely unknown seas
where the wind cried out
blowing wild foam
as I spoke
to monstrous clouds

My men were afraid
and they shook begging
for home but

I gathered all I saw
as the Master!