beyond

everything on the outside
appears a demented but looking closer
i see it makes sense 

then looking closer by backing away

i am demented and back further

we are standing on a summit

all around us is the brightest sky

a total culmination arrived at by nature

beyond grace and faith 

look at me like a stump of a smashed candle/ or a lopsided tomb or a bad song

look at me like a stump of a smashed candle
or a lopsided tomb or a fool

see me like the grapes in the valley

or a treetop touched by the sun or a flying bird

i wanted to give you a pocket of moonlight

sounds of water rubbing on pebbles

i'll listen to you but i won't judge 

follow you but not imitate your grace 

-----

honestly i have something more to say/ and it may be the truth

honestly i have something more to say

and it may be the truth 

but no honesty in me to say it 

how many of us have stayed in this futile place

parked sideways in the brain

saying one is marooned yet one is not 

never stop seeking what you can and wish to be

as one keeps walking and forging on

you will forget all your petty ideas and chores

write me something/ random and clever

write me something

random and clever

but never tell me

the truth 

be honest as the day

sure like sunlight

so when it rains

i'll smile 

be like my tears

or a book i loaned 

and never got back 

but all is well

i dream about the mechanics of dreams

i dream about the mechanics of dreams

i work on their stacks and piping 

i rummage in their bunkers and storehouses

walking for miles down corridors

going through caves 

 

i assign the ballast of bliss and of nightmares

i dream of all their illusive operations

i am assigned to work between the scenes 

i see where they illogically join

weld the broken seams 

in a phantom train yard

switching dreams like freight cars

run endlessly steady over the horizon 

i dwell on the timetable

read dream maps 

study dream histories 

i had something to say / i took a vacation from self

i had something to say 
but i left it alone 

and when i did this

everything smoothed out

became calm and easy

i took a vacation from self 

i don't know when i'll be back

plus when i left for my trip

i took everyone along for free

they get to do whatever they want

and this is a nice day

and this is a nice day

sky a robin's egg blue 

puffs of air ruffling your hair

each minute a peppermint

every hour like a flower 

-----

sweetly say there will be/ no terrible retribution

sweetly say there will be
no terrible retribution 

in a race to ruin every kind of kindness

people bravely command 

the end of any kind of affection

(can we really be held responsible for this?)

the objective and the prize?

there is no objective or prize

(we are beyond logic)

there is oblivion 

there is annihilation 

there is silence 

imprisoned

laying in a grave 

the sun burning down 

ashes to ashes and dust to dust

it is ridiculous
all i want to do is hear you sing
in that language i didn't understand
under the shadowy eves

and teach me about life

but in the sweeping searchlights

of these focused times

with sweat running down our spines

and a sour taste in my mouth

ashes to ashes and dust to dust

we go on like there's 

nothing to explain 

.....

America, 2026
 

i guess it must be fate

i passed you the other day

and i pretended you were not just like me

with hopes ideas and fears 

and much to do in life

later i came back with the police

i wanted them to lock you up or make you nice

but the cops said you were harmless 

and sent you to a country in africa

after that for some reason

i have a hard time sleeping at night

and i don't enjoy my walk past where you stood

day or night rain or shine

i guess it must be fate

.....

America, 2026

there is something frightening in what we say

there is something frightening in what we say

anything at all is born with intention 

mostly to annihilate the moment 

or more like seeing pristine snow

a glittering layer that would wilt 

from the warmth of your fingers

and shoveling it 

-----0

a poem for this rain / on this day

1

a poem for this rain

on this day 

each rain drop 

i swear i won't forget

2

long drawn our dreams

i hear the microwave

now i'll write you

how it rained

3

i'm remembering

how we clasped

on a day like this

a long time ago

4

it is amazing later

how far we can go

how far we can be

lost to each other 

especially after

being so familiar

it is amazing

for raindrops 

to never change

5

a gale 

a sky

rain

it is amazing to 

think fondly 

of no one in 

particular

then always back

to you

x

the duchess of pearls

i met the duchess of pearls tonight
she admits she does not know what that means

“duchess of pearls”

she heard it somewhere once and it stuck in her mind

she has many outward forms, for instance

that of a grand queen, or a goddess

she smiles and winks

tonight someone stole her sleeping bag

when she gets enough money

she’ll buy a combo meal

she has 8 and I give her two

i apologize when i walked away at first when she shouted “hey!”

her name is Connie and she’s making it work no matter what

just like everyone else

she blesses me and i feel much better

for this amends to the duchess of pearls .. grand queen and goddess

-----

Pacific Coast Highway

Laguna Beach

Night