TEN ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL THINGS TO HAVE IN A GREAT NOVEL, IN ORDER OF IMPORTANCE

TEN ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL THINGS TO HAVE IN A GREAT NOVEL, IN ORDER OF IMPORTANCE*

1. A Pirate Map**
2. Some Cunning Illustrations***
3. A Villian ^
4. A Virtuous Virgin^^
5. Two or Three Unfortunate Events that cannot be Easily Solved
6. A Crime
7. "The Flight From Egypt"
8. A Jinx
9. Some Burlesque Horseplay
10. The One Day of Reckoning

OPTIONAL
11. All Chapters, or Sections, should have a synopsis of what will take place in any Chapter, or Section at the start of said Chapter of Section~

* I know what some of you are thinking, after reading this list, "Are you serious?" But these points are true. I am also assuming the writer will do the required character development and research into whatever period they intend to put the story in. I am assuming the writer knows how to write and knows what they are writing about.
** Preferably on the inside, before the TOC and any dedications
*** Should be curious pictures of devices, scenes, mystery writing, sigils, and above all, strategic moments in the plot
^ Like Darth Vader
^^ Don't like having a Virtuous Virgin in the story? Then why not write pulp fiction.

~ I don't know why this practice has fallen out of style. If anything, it forces the novelist to be clear