Fortune Cookie

Ordering chinese food, I got a fortune cookie, and this is what it said:

"The Paradox of any Loving Relationship is: If a Woman does not Hate her Man on a Certain Level, the Relationship will not Last. 10 22 33 45 68 21"

Poem - the faint star has set

the faint star has set
no

there it is
hidden in the branches
of a tree

i go inside
walk up the back stair

please
nobody hear me

nobody hear me

Poem - know everything is fine

i wake up in the middle of the night
stay up in the middle of the night

i watch my 3 year old son sleep in his cot
know everything is fine

outside it is velvet dark and cold
like an obsidian mask

-----

News - CM Evans Cartoons in Dear Sir, Opium .print 9 & McSweeney's "More Things Like This"

News, news, and more news -- belated news, but worth mentioning. I have a cartoon appearing in Dear Sir, a wonderful online lit-zine, edited by Sandra Huber. I also have cartoons in the McSweeney publication, "More Things Like This" -- a sweet coffee table 4 color hard-cover book that details and expands on the cartoon show "Lots of Things Like This" that was installed at apexart in New York City in April of 2008. And last, but not least, Opium Magazine was kind to include some of my cartoons in the "Mania Issue" of Opium Magazine .print, issue no. 9. Opium Magazine, online and in print and the LDM's, still going strong. Thanks to everyone who expressed interest & wanted to publish my work. I do appreciate it.

News - CM Evans Cartoons Being Updated Again

Here's some changes: After an unintended hiatus by being obsessed almost exclusively with writing, I'm updating CM Evans Cartoons again, a few times per week with new work. And I'm also updating my cartoon blog "HP Lovecraft Might be my Paperboy" that is associated with it. Drop by sometime.

Poem - 12/25/2010

i heard someone say today
they were happy
and there was no elaboration
on why or how or if it was
with this or that
i didn't ask because

they felt happy
everything else remained
beautifully unsaid & in fact
we are free to imagine
any kind of happiness
so free as that

it might be a new job
an old lover finding a friend
a day that started bad but
ended up good or
remembering a moment
that was thought lost

so precious is the state
when you realize you are happy
you might see
we're all happy all the time
but we can get distracted
and
think we're sad

Poem - materials

i.

when he takes a walk
he brings a pad of paper this time
because he knows he'll think of something
and to not have a pad of paper
is kinda like going to hell

he goes for his walk
sure enough he thinks of something
takes out the pad of paper
and has no pen to write with

ii.

when he takes a walk
he brings a dark felt tipped pen
the very kind of pen he likes the best to write
because having a pad of paper and no pen
when a thought comes up
is kinda like going to hell

he goes for a walk
sure enough he thinks of something
takes out the dark felt tipped pen
but has no paper to write with

iii.

the next time he leaves the house
to go out for any reason he brings pen and paper
to prove he can learn from his mistakes
and everything is fine
he's out there he's got his materials
he won't miss a thing this time

as he goes about ready to capture a thought
he has no thoughts at all
not one goddamn concept story or poem
not even a goddamn limerick

Poem - in my shoes

for my son, Daniel, 3

i have coins in my shoes
i have plastic farm animals in my shoes
i have dominos in my shoes
there are legos
oreo cookies
gum wrappers
hotwheels cars
toy robots
tv remotes
cheetos &
small rocks yes

all in my shoes

Poem - as useful as

i miss you
but i was to you

as useful as
a typewriter

Poem - and i have even more to learn now

why does disapproval last for so long
it seems stronger than everything in the world
even outlasting the capacity to love
only a fool would not give up

but the motion to love
so subtle and absolutely prevalent
cannot be argued against
cannot be quenched

ok then we'll go on down the road
i guess it ain't as bad as it seems
i've gotten to know all about love
and i have even more to learn now

plus there are dishes to be done
laundry begging to be folded
stories to be told & fond lies
to be said

--------

For Shel Silverstein

Poem - for 42 years old

my hands look old
and i observe the gray hairs
why do they only show on the left side
of my face?

dripping dripping as i hear
for a january thaw all sun out
tomorrow 40 degrees
for 42 years old.

-----------

Oak Park
Winter, 2010

Linji Bunny

In the backyard, I made an imprint of a Buddha in the snow today. When I walked inside and shut the door, I looked out and saw a bunny run through the yard and it decimated the imprint in a twinkle. Imagine that Linji, the bunny must have seen Buddha in the snowbank and ran & killed Buddha!

-----------

"Students today can't get anywhere: What ails you? Lack of faith in yourself is what ails you."

Rinzai Roku

-------------

Oak Park
January, 2010

Goodbye, John

During my trip to San Francisco, I found out that John McGuinness, a friend of mine whom I hadn't seen for a number of years, was killed riding his motorcycle. I met John while working as a counselor at a summer camp in Northern California. Then, as in the tributes I've read about him, he was smart, funny, generous, and caring. He had an irrepressible smile and was great with the kids he counseled -- I think John was one of the best summer camp counselors I ever worked with. Above all, he was a unique and wonderful person, he carried this through all the days of his life.

John died in early September -- September 11th precisely, riding to work. Like many motorcyclists, he was splitting lanes due to slow traffic -- in most states motorcyclists are allowed to do this because if you don't, the bike will overheat. It can be done safely, but there is a degree of chance. You're hoping the automobiles ahead of you are paying attention as you approach them, and they won't do anything crazy like pull towards you as you pass, or even throw a cup of coffee in your face because they're pissed you're on a motorcycle and somehow winning a contest on who can get through traffic faster. Eventually through riding and close calls, all motorcyclists get to know one certainty: anybody can crash. If you're lucky, you'll be around to crash more than once.

I had a motorcycle accident. Too much speed around a blind corner to find a tight turn ahead. My braking put the bike into a shimmy. I was thrown off the front like a spear, landed on my helmet, saw the asphalt grinding past my face shield inches from my eyes as I slid on my head. The motorcycle was damaged enough to be a total loss, I shattered my wrist. For quite awhile I longed to get another motorcycle -- motorcycles are as fun as they can be dangerous. But when I heard that John was killed -- John who has ridden motorcycles constantly his whole life -- I realized that I'm never going to ride again. If John can get killed on a bike, I don't stand a chance.

Living near Chicago, in Illinois, a state that doesn't have a helmet law, every time I see a motorcyclist out on the road without a helmet, in cut-off jeans, no jacket and flip-flops, I get a chill up my spine. This was before I knew about John's accident, John who rode smart and with the right gear and the proper helmet. Now when I see someone doing something stupid like this -- riding without any safety gear whatsoever, with no conception of what it would be like to fly off the bike and hit the asphalt at 50 miles per hour, I think I might cry.

But one of John's co-workers summed it up, saying, "I feel that John, with his energetic, forward-looking nature would not want us to brood too long, but to send him our most loving thoughts." So John McGuinness, I'll miss you, I send to you and your family all my love, and like the song goes:

We'll meet again
Don't know where
Don't know when
But I know we'll meet again
Some sunny day....

------------------

Dedicated to John Edward McGuinness
December 14, 1963 - September 11, 2008

Poem - and after that

for Paul Maddalena

-----

look over there
with me

look over
fields surrounded
by muted hillsides
when it rains
the church far away
normally a dusty
peach color

glows radiantly
bright pink
standing out
while about ready
to fly away
from such
drab
surroundings

i think
when it rains
god must go over there
and do something fun
like
to serve free ice cream

and after that
take a nice long
nap

Poem - in the end this journey

try to get it right
comes out mangled flat
lopsided

plan for all contingencies
something happens didn't
see it coming

like everyone else go through
a period of embarrassing
prolonged settling

get along down the road
down the path but it
never seems to make any
difference

but in the end this journey
is much more than we are
prepared to accept

--------------

for

Jim Sorrells
English 4A
May 26, 1987

In the Tenderloin

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