Poem - F Scott

he looks out reservedly through the
cool pool of the black and white photograph
with a pen in hand and a desk underneath
supporting him and a lace doily too

he's younger than me
and he knows in his snappy paper collar
that his chosen life and friends are going to kill him
and it is only a matter of time

but the parties and the laughing
on the way might make it worth it like
paris and new york might
or even hollywood

i have a novel of his here
full of wistful promise hope and then
the pages run out and the characters he wrote
stand like statues in the mind

he made persons eternally bright
and tense while true life slopes
dims and tends to forget photographs
and how it all started






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Writing - Prenez bien soin de vous!

Truly it was a great first date, not so when you tried to burn the restaurant down. To be fair, I don't think you meant to burn the restaurant, nor combust the food more than it was combusting. The décor was, as it turns out, alarmingly flammable. My clumsy attempt at winking at you and saying something disarming, in French, may have contributed. Or possibly you have some bad memories I knew nothing about, connected to the French, their language, or their culture.

Barely singed, you and I ended up in the alley, next to the trash. You squeezed my hand, and said goodnight, framed by the burning doorway where we stood. The small peck on my cheek still palpable, even now three days later. I will treasure the pinhole like burns on my sleeves, and the gaping burn marks on my slacks from that night, forever. And if only my French was any good at all. Prenez bien soin de vous!


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Quail Meadow
Fall, 2013

Poem - the world is not so broken after all/ if papa is humble

the world is not so broken after all
if papa is humble

nothing dangerous nor strange
when papa is humble

what could be sad is happy
what ended can start again

spring in fall
summer in winter


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Quail Meadow
Irvine
2013

Poem no. 4,338

yes, to be humble is to be less selfish
and to be in pain is an indication of ego disagreeing with everything

yes, there is nothing to get or have
there is no attainment because awareness is innate and self-revealing

if it is for flowers blooming and clouds becoming
why is it also not for you

we don't have debate with which way the river flows
why would you be biased

people or the coming of autumn
a bill or an award the end of something and starting new




+

Even When I do not Understand a Thing

I had a dream I was on a covered porch, probably my grandmother's porch in St. Louis, Missouri. There with many bicycles parked closely to one another to one side, some old, some new. It as late afternoon and a bee got in somehow. It was buzzing around me. It didn't seem to want to sting me, just being problematic, distracting -- going between me and in and out of the bicycles. I gently would swat at it with an old flyswatter, but this did not seem to bother the bee -- it was unkillable and not bothered. I was trying to herd the bee from out from the bicycles, and out the screen door that I had propped open. Eventually, the bee seemed to get smaller in size, until it was like a small golden bean. Then it decided to go out the crack in the screen door I made for it. When I woke up, I had no idea what the dream meant, and the significance of the bee. But later, I understood who the bee was, and why. And how I need to be so very gentle, even when I do not understand a thing.


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Quail Meadow
September 2013

Transparent Buddhas on the Horizon

Light traffic. Everyone on the freeway looking the same direction. A transparent Buddha on the horizon, the size of a mountain, staring at him with no pity.

*

When he arrived, he made friends with a shy dog.


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Huntington Beach
September 2013

Writing - Secret and Total Joy

There's no harm done, none at all. When I am in pain, it is because my ego is criticizing others, and I need to become less selfish. What a wonderful opportunity to let things go, and experience how no one is dependent upon anyone else for basic natural happiness. To see how this natural satisfaction is always with yourself, how you can never be separated from secret and total joy.

Or, to see the limitlessness of a blue sky, with no clouds. It is. You cannot be prejudiced against it.

*

The weather is changing, and fall is coming. It will be beautiful, when the leaves change. Can you feel it coming?


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Quail Meadow
September 2013

Writing - Please Call Me

I quit the news, and listen to Mozart. All I do is work, and listen to classical music. I even stop updating social media, and using Google for searching. I feel spied on. I know I'm not doing anything important.

On the day the decide to round up the intellectuals, they'll skip me. When they decide to imprison the non-Christians, or people who are kooks, then they'll get me.

*

The apartment complex is unusually quiet. Please note this in my file. Also, if you have a nice job, please call me.


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Oh Harmless Error!

When it hurts, it hurts, and you can't do anything about it. Doing something about anything -- oh harmless error!

See how I am being taught: dark sky is the color of wine. God, look at that beautiful half moon! And we are below, like the birds sleeping in the branches of trees.


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Quail Meadow
September, 2013

Poem - like an angel

I wrote it on a crumpled scrap of paper

he said drop the story
get out of the way
and trust in something

and when you do this
and listen to people
and see how you can help
you can become something amazing and beautiful

you can become a thing you've heard about
like an angel


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Poem - memories of last night of the moon and a star

at dusk venus next to the crescent moon
proved to me I do not understand anything

but yet everything is possible like fresh green apples at the store
I saw this morning when I prayed for direction

and I was shown the apples the store the day the greatest blue sky
memories of last night of the moon and a star


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Note

Consistently keep loving.



Consistency is key.



And laugher.



So here’s laughing at all of us.



.

Chart: How should I be?

How should I be? Well, I drew this chart.

Poem - as the giants above me smile

son and i build a train layout
of wooden tracks on the
living room carpet

and for an hour i play with him
just like i promised

all the trains run on time
and everyone likes their job
even at the steam works

that night when i go home
i dream of small wooden trains

i am a wooden man on one
painted bright blue and on schedule
as the giants above me smile


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for Danny
September 2013