Poem - past even memory

      for R, V, J, S, M, etc.

it seems to be a lot of trouble to remember
how this imaginary me got hurt

and what this phantom wanted
or how this dream was going to be satiated

i saw flowers and ladders and tears
i tried to hold onto people

now here i am looking at a white wall
on a bright day in november

all those fellow talkers grabbers
wigglers and strives are off somewhere else

it is amazing how impermanent
struggle and suffering with others are

because one moment they're here forever
next moment they were never here at all

i've decided all you can do is be kind
and not hope at all

filling in holes other people
dug into the ground

or climbing higher not staying
at any summit of any desire

so
if you are reading this and you
are higher up on the path

and
i did anything for you once
that was kind

if
i forget the right way to go
or confuse down with up

shine
a light or make a loud yell
even make me think you're god

.

.

anything to get me to want
to keep going past the summit
of whatever i think

we were all born
to climb

past even memory



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