then i saw your boyfriend
or someone who acted like it
and i drove home and started a new painting
even bigger than the last one
to keep me occupied and not thinking
about anything
and i started memorizing
the midnight ride of paul revere by longfellow
because memorization is the calisthenics of the mind
because my mind must be lazy
for me to feel this way
my activity is selfish and
infected with bad motives
or middle age is a desert i cross
and after this is fucking death
*
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