i'm not afraid of what i will find

May 7th

i'm not afraid of what i will find
it is a lock of your hair
i think about your shoes
how they were still there
pointed at the wall
the idea you were not
coming back to put them on
was insane impossible

i'm just a little afraid
of what i might think next
how it might extend the sadness
past where it is due
and should be felt
past when it is good
might extend past where
it should be let go

so i pray in three
different languages
all the heartfelt prayers
of devotion and generosity
that i can pray for you
my mother my enemies
and even for me
letting it all go

because we don't count
our tears by weight or
numbers nor on the
richter scale our thoughts

i'll pray for you now
and i will pray for you later
for all of us even dear reader
this will make some light
for those who decide
to keep on loving
after they cried
and the heart
was broken



**