thoughts are the counterfeit bills of the mind

thoughts are the counterfeit bills of the mind

consciousness passing as much as it thinks

to give weight or credence to every fantasy

attaching valuation to what is brilliant space




**

every language is meant to be forgotten

every language is meant to be forgotten
once true contact is made

from words to inside the moment
on the feelings so fleeting

evening expansive night stars
swaying lanterns lit we are all family

then back to language as we must go
au revoir e saúdinha so long



**

reduce the words

reduce the words
until just the
outline remains
of fleeting memory
so it haunts
the letters


reduce
until the
outline
of memory
haunts
the letters


reduce
until
memory
haunts
letters


****

i am willing to subvert my mind with the deadliest of all poisons

i am willing to subvert my mind with the deadliest of all poisons
 a little bit everyday by reading the news

it does me no good but when you are dying of grasping and aversion
  you come to crave what is excoriating the soul


***

i go outside and meet my neighbor a rabbit

i go outside and meet my neighbor a rabbit
rabbit is rabbit all the time and is here just so
i am human & often other places in my mind

sitting in the grass he regards me as
i lay my hand on the gate and the rabbit is gone
soon i am too for my job down the road

rabbit doesn't have a name and neither do i
rabbit doesn't have a job and neither do i
i see rabbit and rabbit sees me



***

i pray to the flying buddhas

i pray to the flying buddhas

they look like jets

i pray to the jumping buddhas

they look like rabbits

i pray to the buddhas in every 

disguise they take on

even if a buddha answers to be

a bus driver or a bodhisattva

****

endlessly

approaching the second fathers day without my dad
i feel like a house half moved out of now moved out to 2/3

this is all i have i want more so i make more in my head
with planes in the afternoon soaring overhead through beautiful clouds

with sunshine on the clouds and on the planes beautifully shining
i am ignoring far flung gorgeousness with my rigorous denial of possibilities

me focusing on me and on my loss and my story not turning out the way i wanted
and not accepting loss which is not actually loss but is change

loss not being loss but discovery and evidence of the endless regeneration of the universe
that will seemingly bring us together and take us away but will also bring us together again

endlessly


***

Photo by Deborah Carmichael © 2019

go beyond everything

go beyond everything
even mind questioning
but how when
what does that mean?

even beyond this



**