endlessly

approaching the second fathers day without my dad
i feel like a house half moved out of now moved out to 2/3

this is all i have i want more so i make more in my head
with planes in the afternoon soaring overhead through beautiful clouds

with sunshine on the clouds and on the planes beautifully shining
i am ignoring far flung gorgeousness with my rigorous denial of possibilities

me focusing on me and on my loss and my story not turning out the way i wanted
and not accepting loss which is not actually loss but is change

loss not being loss but discovery and evidence of the endless regeneration of the universe
that will seemingly bring us together and take us away but will also bring us together again

endlessly


***

Photo by Deborah Carmichael © 2019