dad this tribute to you / until we meet again

dad this tribute to you
until we meet again
above the sky beyond
in timeless time
we turn to memories
recollection stories
that make a smile
photographs become
beacons or stages

like the one
on the day of marriage
it is a bright scene
him prime steadfast
earnest heart united
with his bride and
she in white satin
bright as grace
or like lightening

together a life unfurling
great and unknown
they both so young
poised too in that light
it is so far away
and yet so close

miles moved
off to the west
the houses cars
children and stories
jobs commutes
songs dinners jokes
work roofs roofed
yards and fireworks
faithful dogs books
packards and campouts
redwoods bodega bay
industry passion
like an arrowhead
like a finding
and if needed a push
would give a shove
when striving
he won

for some he is in
everything we
ever thought
above all
he was and still is
not done but moving
in hearts and in minds
son brother husband father
grandfather companion
friend steadfast
a veteran

him in one
recent photograph
taken not far from here
a knowing smile
kind tilt of the head
caught in that light again
so bright so far away
and yet so close

love and joy
for him that comes
because he gave it

if you decide
to look for him today
you cannot find him
anywhere because
he is everywhere

----

6/17/18

under the purple sky

i dream quite a long time
vividly about being able to fly
in this dream flying is easy
and i can go vast distances

i fly to a land that has big boulders
resting on waves of pink stone
the people native to there
build houses at the bases of them

it becomes dusk and the lights
of all the dwellings start to come on
i watch this from a beehive shaped stone
i landed on under the purple sky


**

i had a dream of dying / in a micro hotel

i had a dream of dying
in a micro hotel
guarded by teenagers high
armed with automatic weapons

i woke up not in a
micro hotel on a day that
promises to breezy and sunny
with no problems really

the issues are all out of sight
developing in directions
causes and conditions form
like innocent clouds at first

but for this bright easy day
why should anyone worry
or think dark thoughts
of a broken world

on this bright awake day
there's still time to change
spread peace and hope and save
the parents of the parents

and their parents and even me
the owner of the micro hotel
and tyrant
in that dream


**

lie in my obituary

"No me dejen morir así, digan que dije algo ..."

 --- José Doroteo Arango Arámbula


lie in my obituary
tell them i freed every lion bear and tiger i met
tell them birds would land on my fingers
i could sing whole operas by heart
i knew 350 languages
i traveled the world
tell them i knew the best places that made shoes compasses marbled paper fireworks and beehives
i invented complicated technology that contacted alien life
that allowed barriers here on the planet to fall
tell them i was grateful dignified knowledgeable and funny
tell them i had a tattoo and a parrot and an orchard of golden apples
and when i swam every river i encountered i was like a dolphin
or like beowulf

tell them i had the sky in my eyes with a hint of lightening
all the world was in my heart and peace and justice in each hand
when i rested i was meek as a dove and when roused valiant like a lion


99

reading my father's obituary

reading my father's obituary
i'm a little bit angry he's gone
but it passes the details are nice
my sister wrote it for the paper

she works for them as an editor
how good does it get to have
your obituary written by family
but i suppose all obituaries are like that

and it comes to me that there is so much
i will never know and i never asked
because i resented the information
or i thought we had more time

in what you could know
in what you might want to find out
in what you keep forgetting to say
all my selfishness toward my father

for he is like a mountain that has vanished
mountains of mountains or even the sky
gone distilled into words on a page
with a photo on how he'd like to be seen



@@

99

i've been poisoning my own mind
by thinking about what i want or what i'd like

as if desiring something right would justify
what i am doing in poisoning myself



99

Essential Knots: Lao Tzu Says Don't Be Sad

I learn 5 essential knots. When I get home I want to show them to Lao Tzu, who is sitting on the couch and petting one cat with one hand, and the other cat with his other hand.

"Here is the 'bowline' and here is the 'larkshead'" I say, "But I can't remember the other three essential knots."

"And the 'bowline' I just made fell apart. So I don't know the 'bowline' after all." I confess.

I feel very down that I couldn't tie 4 of the knots.

"Don't be sad." says Lao Tzu, smiling, still petting the cats, "If there were bows here to tie lines on, you would know how, and do it."


----

Osseo

Chung Tzu: Why don't you give them a heads up like I do?

The morning is beautiful, bright, with a few stray clouds going west. Going to work, I get cut off repeatedly by a fiery red Dodge Charger. I think the driver is not paying attention, or they are crazy.

When I pull into work, it pulls up next to me.

Chung Tzu is at the wheel, and I see Lao Tzu and Henry Ford talking quietly in the back seat.

"I am astonished!" I say. "I did not know you could drive."

"Yaaaas?" replies Chung Tzu like Dean Moriarty.

"How so? Why?" is all I can say back.

"If you are aware you know so little, why do you take such pride in what you think you know?" says Henry Ford.

"Just what the man said." says Chung Tzu.

"But what about all the bugs and little creatures that will get hurt when you go speeding down the road?"

"Oh, that is not a problem." says Chung Tzu, revving the engine, "I just yell out from time to time as we go that I'm completely mad ... "

"I don't think that will work for me."

"Have you tried?" asks Henry Ford.

"Not yet."

"Well, if you don't try things, you'll never know." says Henry Ford.

"Even things that seem to be silly?"

"Yes." says Henry Ford.


***

Later in the day I call Chung Tzu up.

"How is the driving going? How are all those critters and bugs?"

"Just fine!" says Chung Tzu.

"Oh?"

"Yeah! We can be OK out in the world, anywhere. The only person they have to watch out for is people like you! Why don't you give them a heads up?"

"I'd rather be the kind of person where they don't have to watch out for me at all." I say after thinking about what Chung Tzu said.

"Oh?" asks Chung Tzu. "You could try that too."



***


Minnetonka
Cheshire Lane

at the window sill on a windy day / there is a downturned drinking glass

at the window sill on a windy day
there is a downturned drinking glass
set on a square of cardboard
purpose forgotten and a cat content
cleaning his paws and face

wind roars and the window opened
just a crack lets the breeze in

the down-turned drinking glass
could be covering could be holding
every secret contained in thoughts
what you kept and what escapes
at the window sill on a windy day



***

Maple Grove
6/3/18

the money route / it all costs money

the money route
it all costs money
the house
the lifestyle
the ideals the happiness
the anger
the self-justification
if you're going to live
with money
the money route
money becoming
higher than even
who you are
or will ever
want to be

having the latest
looking perfect
on the outside
ever striving
racing over the globe
life fleeting
unhappy children
co workers breaking
house too big
lifestyle ridiculous
a tyranny of fashion
of lawn parties
of clubs
of worthy causes
of sorees
of NY LA and Paris

and the yacht you couldn't get
and the event they blocked you from
and the award you never will get
and the recognition imitators stole
and the truth of all the effort
and the valley you wanted to cultivate
and the villa you would have retired to
and the countryside you would have wandered
like a newly minted vagabond




***

a door slams hard in the hallway / a woman screams someone falls more words

a door slams hard in the hallway
a woman screams someone falls more words

takes me back to oak park
we were the new couple from california

the newcomers who fought
the neighborhood hung back and peeked

didn't want to get whatever
we had like it might be a disease

the house we owned
was known secretly to be unlucky

whoever called the cops
to clean out our 'shit act' from california

whoever hung the rear bumper
from the back fence while i was away

whoever broke in looked
and investigated the home and remains

thanks it was a pleasure
for the hospitality and your kindness

confirming the kind of neighbors
to those in trouble you'd want to be

i heard a new couple moved in
with three small girls and a couple of cats

they're from around there
they redecorated and are very happy


____

corcoran over country road / before it rains i see a two red birds

corcoran over country roads
before it rains i see a two red birds

playing on the side of the road
almost like a dance where it was

just a month ago a layer of mum snow
now as i passed a seeming endless

place where living and dying is freely exchanged
over the fields as far as you'd care to see

marked by every fence and
animal dream


***

corcoran / over country roads

corcoran
over country roads

before it rains
i see a leaf and plastic bag

playing on the side
of the road

almost like a dance
where it was

just a month ago
a layer of snow there

as i passed

now seeming endless
place where

living and dying is
freely exchanged

over the fields as far
as you'd care to see

marked by every fence
and animal dream


***

Corcoran
6/2/18

noon field so broad / full trees and the earth

noon field so broad
full trees and the earth
all witnessing sky

fox and eagle fight
grasped rabbit in-between

thought doomed
the rabbit wiggled free
bloodied but alive

vanishes into reeds
fox and eagle denied

noon field so broad
fox goes one way
eagle goes another

full trees and the earth
all witnessing sky



**

let me express my zeal

let me express my zeal
for the burning of the world
but the hotter it gets
the colder i feel

o stars i was the brightest
none came close to me
thus my coldness
my hate

i forged the depths of hell
from the most stalwart of souls
invincible like me
in defiance

revolutionaries great cause
the highest one of all
break the sacred yoke
suffer and be free

glorious in anger and rage
wrath higher and higher seen
embers flung spite
angles eyes

i pledged

all you betrayed all you
murderers takers stealers
besotted and insane
all abandoned

perjurers deniers killers
hate mongers revenge seekers
oath breakers teller of lies
corruptness

those who will never make
amends those who never
will bend or ask pardon
or surrender

come to the darkness i arraigned
come to the fires
that turn all to ashes
even mother and father

i will crush you
i will press you
i will use you
for all eternity


**

el diablo

Lao Tzu by the Grass

This morning, just after dawn, Lao Tzu is by the grass. He is by the pond with a flock of geese. They are all looking over the water.

I go downstairs to see him, with a cup of tea. I have to excuse myself past several of the geese, but they tolerate me.

"The grass is cool and wet on my feet." I say, as I give him the cup of tea.

"It stays that way almost all day, until the sun warms it." says Lao Tzu quietly.

"I meant to say 'good morning', but I said what I felt instead. The grass and the cool water on my feet."

Lao Tzu smiles, blows on the tea. "Few speak what they feel!"



***

Morning
By the Pond

on a hill of gozo/ there is church

on a hill of gozo
there is church
stout like the hill
pink like the rock
virgin mary
in a cave
at the foot

souls go to it
and back like
birds to it
and back like
ships to it this
church on the hill

even at night
if you are lost
or lonely or
tired you can find
on a hill of gozo

this church
virgin mary
in a cave
at the foot
stout like the hill

Peacefully or Fretfully

Chung Tzu and I sit outside under the trees, the dogwoods and serviceberrys are fragrant and bursting with white petals. They fall like snow! The sky is greater and greater and the petals keep falling.

"What do you say about these petals?" I ask Chung Tzu.

"They are all perfumed and falling sweetly." says Chung Tzu, "Some cry and say this is terrible. They cannot even sleep at night, clutching their pillow, moaning, grinding their teeth."

"Oh?"

"Others rejoice and are elated."says Chung Tzu, "Those sense the night so peacefully."

"Why?"

"Depends! How do you spend your night? Peacefully or fretfully?"


--------

By the Pond
Under the dogwood trees
Spring
MN

Chung Tzu Says Quietly

"Water does not run uphill. Wind does not blow backwards." I mention to Chung Tzu.

The light changes over the surface of the lake. I can see ripples spreading, as the wind blows. Dry reeds bend, from last summer. The new reeds will be pushing through.

"Ahem." he says.

"Where do these thoughts come from?" I ask him sincerely.

"Water flows. Wind blows. Mind plays at flowing, blowing." Chung Tzu says.


___

Afternoon
View of the Pond
MN

Chung Tzu Goes HONK

It is the morning, on the 3rd floor. Cats are fed. Chung Tzu comes in and points.

"Where you been?" I ask him.

"Been? Brother, I've been here all along!"

"Where?"

"La la! Down there. In paradise." he points to the pond.

"What did you find? Water and mud?"

"Reeds! Sticks!" says Chung Tzu.

"I saw you all along!" I exclaim, jumping up, shaking his hand. "I thought you were a big goose!"

"HONK!" goes Chung Tzu.



**