Wednesday, January 28, 2009


As we get the king-sized mattress into the truck, the jet, it passes over low and loud. Miramar is gearing up for Aviation Week, so the Phantoms and other jets are practicing their routines. Phoebe does this kind of herky-jerky dance of terror -- I've seen small children do it before when they are unexpectedly filled with terror. It's funny and heartbreaking at the same time, and I scoop her up, and we both say, "WOW!".

Monday, January 26, 2009

Poem - i'm sorry/ he said

i'm sorry
he said

here are poems
deep in me

the very best

and i could not
bring them

it is my fault
my lack of skill

there is one now
gliding away

i cannot touch it

Monday, January 19, 2009

Chung Tzu Says I'm a LUCKY DOG

"If I have accomplished anything, it was largely due to the unrequested kindness of others." I say to Chung Tzu.

"You LUCKY DOG!" Chung Tzu exclaims.


Frederick Larrabee: She's a delight Bannister, a delight and you're a lucky dog.
Howard: I...
Frederick Larrabee: Admit it! Admit you're a lucky dog.
Howard: I'm a lucky dog.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Lao Tzu and 10,000 Years

"If you do something for yourself, in authenticity, you could be doing it, also, for others."

Lao Tzu nods gently, and says almost imperceptibly, "Meditate on that for a time as long as 10,000 years, and you could go far."

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Should I Move to Iceland?

With windchill, it is -25 degrees, or even -35 degrees, otherwise, the thermometer is steady at -1. The day is brilliantly sunny, not a cloud in the sky. The snow is like sand, blowing off the rooftops in a crystalline spray, no birds out today. To cold for even the little birds, I wonder where they are. The car has trouble starting, I make sure the garage is sealed up tight when I get back, to conserve warmth. Now you can feel every nook or cranny in the house that leaks cold air, but the good news is the few leaky windows or doors are now sealed with blankets or towels. All in all, we're snug and content, watching TV reruns in bed and eating ice-cream, of all things. Tonight, -14, to -18 as a low, not counting the wind. I love it. Should I move to Iceland?

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

A Sleepy Discussion with Chung Tzu

After a period of lucid dreaming, I am having a hard time waking up. I feel half immersed in dreams, even when I am brushing my teeth.

I go outside, and see that it is pleasantly snowing. When I get to the house, Chung Tzu is in the kitchen.

"I had lucid dreams before I woke up, and now I'm trying to be awake." I say to him.

"No, you're still asleep." Chung Tzu says.

"How can I wake up?"

"Well, the best you've done, is to be semi-awake."

"When was that?"

"Oh, I guess about 7 months ago, for about 15 minutes."

"I guess that's better than nothing."

"Sure. I think, possibly, you'll be semi-awake again in about 6 weeks."

"If I go on retreat?"

"Yeah. You tend to be very sleepy around here."

We are quiet. He blows on his tea. Meanwhile, I see it has been gently, softly snowing, all along.

"Going on a retreat would be nice."

Tuesday, January 13, 2009


I come in after shoveling snow. Lao Tzu is sitting in the kitchen.

"Snow!" I say.

"What is 'Snow'?" he asks, almost to himself.


Later, Chung Tzu is here.

"What do you think about 'Snow'?" I ask him, innocently as possible.

"I think it is a very good 'Idea'" says Chung Tzu.