Poem - having no more / to ask for

for a year lived in fear and anger
being incapable of letting go
then just self pity of the revolting secret kind

the kind of sadness that one does not admit
and
instead tries to overcome through austerities
of the brutal kind bowing bowing bowing

a second year of inner nonsense
of hate of hurt of confusion
being incapable of letting go
more austerities more bowing
endless mantra

    let go
    let go
    let go

third year filled out papers
moved apartments
getting out of anger

hear the machinist next door
grinding rails

walk to the ocean
having no more

to ask for


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HB
2014
July