Thursday, December 31, 2020

Will you please answer that phone

Will you please answer that phone
But if it is for me tell them I am in Africa
Discovering the true source of the Nile
Because John Hanning Speke was a liar




*

He wrote his name boldly at the top of the sheet

He wrote his name boldly at the top of the sheet
He wrote his name boldly at the bottom
He wrote his name large in the middle 
He tore the page up and started again 



**


The pleasant hours fly by much too soon

The pleasant hours fly by much too soon
If we are enamored with drudgery 
So move lightly from task to task 
Never let one own you 


*

The man went to the woods to gather sticks

The man went to the woods to gather sticks
Instead he found the woods 
He was happy to wander all day 
He came home with a leaf in his hat 



***

The heap of fallen leaves was set on fire

The heap of fallen leaves was set on fire
The smoke drifted up into the sky
When flames reached wetness and damp
There'd be hissing and puffs of blue smoke 



***

Schools for ladies teach charm and grace

Schools for ladies teach charm and grace
While boys want to wrestle and climb trees
There will come a time when a boy can't decide
To return charm for grace or to have tree for free


**

Wood is best for making toys and blocks

Wood is best for making toys and blocks
Metal is good for guns and bombs
Flowers are best for wooing love
And soothsayers for solving sphinxes riddles


**

The pirates seized the crew of the lost ship

The pirates seized the crew of the lost ship
Then the crew seized the pirates' ship
They sailed away in opposite directions
Wondering how that managed to happen 



**

Bring your problems to the wise chief

Bring your problems to the wise chief
He may look at each one weighing them carefully
If you can explain them rationally enough
He may decide to put one like a feather in his hat




***

He ordered peach pie with ice cream

He ordered peach pie with ice cream
28 pies with 28 gallons of vanilla 
He fed every squirrel in the yard
Plus every raccoon and fox that night



***

Cut the pie into large parts

Cut the pie into large parts
Make it two slices because there are us
You and me with an old ticking clock
The heirloom clock does not eat



**

Her purse was full of useless trash

Her purse was full of useless trash
And in it was no ID 
In a small notebook in the side pocket
She had wrote I HATE YOU at least 300 times



**

Press the pants and sew a button on the vest

Press the pants and sew a button on the vest
It is a blind date not a hanging 
If you bring flowers get real ones 
A silk rose the size of your head would be strange




88


Tuesday, December 29, 2020

Most of the news is easy for us to hear

Most of the news is easy for us to hear
Stories that trouble are suppressed
We'll buy all our things made with slave labor
And have a bright nice clean house 



***

The beam fell on the head of the worker

The beam fell on the head of the worker
But he was unharmed a toy soldier
As a child I built many structures
Greater than any castles in the air 


**

She danced like a swan tall and graceful

She danced like a swan tall and graceful
No one knew she was terminally ill
She had a standing ovation and thought
If every night could be like this one 




**

Open the crate but don't break the glass

Open the crate but don't break the glass
The form is ancient and sleeps 
A jewel like thing in the blessed amphora
If loosed will rise and corrupt the living


**

Move the vat over the hot fire

Move the vat over the hot fire
And sit by me where we can praise
Having meat and gristle for this day
Trapped by snows we eat our dead




**

Thieves who rob friends deserve jail

Thieves who rob friends deserve jail
But for love is the wished for exception
That I robbed you in the name of love
Gives us betrayal turned into poetry 



**

- for Leonard Cohen

"Well I see you there, with the rose in your teeth." -- The Famous Blue Raincoat

Monday, December 28, 2020

 as if we'd never notice

the day he stopped 

coming to work 


a trade a sacrifice 

between divisions

needed you'll see


he's without a job

because someone

thought it was good


those still employed

go on dealing working

waiting for a turn 

he's a man without a job

HR tried to keep it secret


as if we'd never notice

the day he stopped 

coming to work 


they say it is for a reason

a trade a sacrifice 

between divisions

needed you'll see


but it is a lie

he's a man without a job

because someone

thought it was good





Sunday, December 27, 2020

long or short

long or short

the road is long 

if i have no courage


they asked me

what is the opposite of faith

i said faithlessness



*

dreading going back to work

why dread it when one knows how to do it 

it might be in the knowing 



77

snow trailing flakes that i shoveled twice

snow trailing flakes that i shoveled twice

it falls now with gusts of wind over snow i moved

a thing to see your work so gracefully undone

seems better in life to leave things undisturbed



99

facing the day with notes

facing the day with notes

  go store

done

  ret lib books

done

  everything is going to be alright

thank you


..

Tuesday, December 22, 2020

The Boy Was There When The Sun Rose

The boy was there when the sun rose, in the first place the rays touched when it rose over the tiny town. Before his drunken father left, he would tell his son about the field at the very edge of town, where no one would go to ... and how in that field the sun's cotton candy would appear in the dew every morning. The boy knew it was a fantastic story, like all the others. Though he knew his fathers stories were all lies, they also were irresistible stories, full of whim and amazing happenings, miracles, angels, and unforgettable details. His father had that about him -- a flash, like lightening, laugher, mysteries revealed. The boy loved and hated his father, but above all he missed this unreliable love. A presence like a force of nature, like a storm, then gone. Or at any time, could suddenly reappear dirty, laughing, full of tales. So the boy brought a book with him, and a pencil, and he would write his own stories in the field at dawn, and he promised he would someday publish them, with a dedication to his father. 



***

Thursday, December 17, 2020

shhh! this is a quiet place and we are all reflections

shhh! this is a quiet place and we are all reflections
suspended over time that is like a night table 
so starry 
so deep
tribute to thundering creaking of subway trains
that grew like western roses on boot hill
to order and disorder 
peace and fury 



**

everything that can be summed up about me is lost

everything that can be summed up about me is lost
and when everything about you is lost 
it ain't such a bad thing 

moonbeams and sunshine go right through 
the stuff that used to cast shadows or block 
gone any direction  

you can see over around and through if you look
forward into the past and back into the future
but you can't hold onto anything now


**

The Fish Twisted and Turned on the Bent Hook

The fish twisted and turned on the bent hook. He crouched on the edge of the river, swore he would never eat meat, made the oath, but he was starving. It had taken him 28 days to find the wire, to sharpen it on one end, to purloin enough string to have a fishing line. He arose before dawn, walked with clasped hands, meditated at daybreak, noon, dusk. He was the epitome outwardly of humbleness, or service. The mist rose off the water, the only disturbance were ripples from the struggling. As he drew it in, he even felt a pang of deep regret for the poor fish, for all beings snared in suffering in this whole world. 

When he had the fish (so pitiful wet cold and alive!) something in him made him let it go. Then the abbot sat down beside him.



**

Tuesday, December 15, 2020

Sickness Kept Him Home the Third Week

Sickness kept him home the third week, but it was no more than what he imagined himself to be afflicted with. His heath was as good as it had ever been, he had no physical ailments. 

He'd watch the sky from the tallest window in the house. The clouds were marching to the east, dizzyingly high. He would hear the watch ticking on his arm, the second hand getting louder on the watch side as it approached, then receded to the other side of the dial. 

Later he was at the beach, looking for shells. He saw Candice there. 

"I saw your daughter the other day." she said.

He exchanged small talk and then called his daughter.

They had brunch at a favorite restaurant. 

"Dad, I am glad that you called." 

He forgot everything he idly worried about. He was glad too.

For some reason the lonely halls and rooms of his mind where smaller, as she smiled. 

As he drove home, he hummed a tune and wrote it down when he arrived home. The darkness did not oppress him, though he turned on the lights. Then he turned them off quickly, and saw the moon going up into the sky from the tallest window in the house.

He picked up the instrument, he played a violin solo to the moon. 

A deer with her fawn heard the violin music, and came down the hillside, waited patiently for him to finish. It knew when he noticed, he would feed them carrots.


...

Monday, December 14, 2020

The Ship was Torn Apart on the Sharp Reef

The ship was torn apart on the sharp reef. Was it ironic that it was my son's toy ship, a model of the sloop we were sailing in, dashed to pieces seconds before the full-sized boat followed it onto the coral? The churning surf looked like milk or masses of cream, the rending of the side like gunshots as the wood gave. I saw splinters shooting through the torn sails. The wheel shuddered then started spinning as if down a hill. All was falling sliding, grinding, and going up or apart. Off aways was the life raft, with my son, daughters and wife ... getting farther and father away. 

When I awoke, an orchid rested on a spotless side table, a glass of water, some gauze. A Japanese doctor. I was trussed up in a body cast. 

"Did they make it?" I asked the Japanese doctor. "Did they get away?"

He couldn't speak English, didn't understand. 




---



Sunday, December 13, 2020

A King Ruled the State in the Early Days

A king ruled the state in the early days, and he was hated for it, even though his subjects expected him to be the ruler. They also wanted their own laws, and their own customs of non-royal rule. The king did his best to be a figurehead, but his subjects decided to throw him in prison. 

Prison was actually better than living in the dilapidated castle that the commoners expected the ruler to live in. The king was quite happy, but eventually important people in the new government felt guilty on how they were treating the king, so the Chancellor and his cabinet offered to let him go into exile. 

The king was sad, and moved to a small country far away from the land. There he became an excellent hat maker, and interior designer. The king really didn't have any other skills other than this. Later, when the king retired from his second career, and ran a little B&B by the mountainside, he'd wonder how his little country was getting along. 

One day, he was surprised to see the Chancellor and half the cabinet coming down the road. They look very tired from traveling. Once they recognized the king, they were very surprised. 

"Tell me how it goes in that beautiful little land."

"Wrought with famine, and pillage."

"How so?"

"We could not agree, after you left, and so we quarreled and fought with our neighbors, and with our own factions."

"Terrible news."

"You should go back, the people would have you rule again."

"A milliner, decorator, and inn-keeper?"

"We will advocate for your return."

The king thought carefully, and saw how the Chancellor and his cabinet were sincere. The king made the journey back to his land.

Once back in power, the people rejoiced. The king had the Chancellor drawn and quartered, head cut off and put on a pike, with all the rest of the cabinet. The old motto of the king's royal line was PRO PATRIA, but motto of the royal house restored, VAE VICTIS, was cut deeply over the gates of the newly improved castle, with the royal emblem of a smartly hatted knight crushing a serpent. 


...

Saturday, December 12, 2020

i look for the cat

i look for the cat
he is on the roof
looking down at me
quite surprised

and i am surprised too
seeing his face 
over the gutter

then he goes back 
down into the yard

later i let him in
ask what did you see

leaves breeze
twigs 

untouchable
squirrels

Friday, November 27, 2020

the dance of the soul

the dance of the soul
incomplete

always incomplete

things that are done
are dead or false

Tuesday, November 10, 2020

this place that we are

this place that we are

it might be the place

of all places places

the place place 


white snow 

white frost 

glittering world

like spun sugar

Tuesday, October 27, 2020

Vikings

 


CM Evans
2020
Acrylic on Canvas, Pen, Cardboard, Oil Pastel
24 x 24


Walking Around the Garden With Mr. Miro

 


CM Evans
2019
Acrylic on Canvas, Putty Knife
22 x 28


Remembering How Every Detail Is So Real And Every Flower Is Like A Mountain And Bees Are Like Eagles


CM Evans
2020
Acrylic and Pen on Canvas
36 x 48

Monday, October 19, 2020




this joyful moment
clear and unbridled
the start of winter

in the joyful moment
by abandoning all my heart's plans
of admiring this very moment


---
Florida St South

love is love



love is love
and people have been
embracing it 
and destroying it 
for all time

you can have love
be positive
or horrible or
weak and indifferent

you make love
into whatever 
or however 
you
want to experience it
as 
because love
is universal 
and eternal 

so how
would you 
like to 
experience 
love?
choose.




10-19-20

Sunday, October 11, 2020

 if you put me in charge of everything 
you will be disappointed

do you want to be disappointed

Friday, September 18, 2020

Poem - all the curse words




all the curse words
for this year
used up 
but i was the cause
to start with 

what a savage
savage world view
to feel a curse 
even once 
would work


>>>

Poem - the skies promise stars

the skies promise stars
we get plenty of them 
how the universe loves us
this autumn night millions
every conceivable path 
your feet touching them 
dipping your toes in
a midnight lake





**

Sunday, September 13, 2020

Poem - in the blue bathrobe in the rain

in the blue bathrobe in the rain
up to your elbows in water
trying to get the drain unstuck
at the base of the driveway 

there are some thing you will remember
the weight of the robe soaking wet
seeing the mark above the garage
where you knocked bikes off a rack



***
oh what a charming stream 
passed over by me but not to itself 
i was here or there blocked by thoughts
concerned amazed by silly asides

while stream never moved it just flowed
leaves in it by day rippling stars at night 
through meadows of grass and many copses of trees 
a pleasant scene of a pleasant stream 

the mind conquered and the soul reminded
by the stream that as all our plans are like leaves
that it takes and makes disappear round the bend 
around another bend and so on till all is gone


They mark it DEAD END
But I call it a the start of something new
For at your feet begins a meadow 
Full of tunnels of dew and leaves still green 
And if you go further you find a stream 
Whose waters and shimmering sands
Glint coldly gold and silver specks 
Alive with sleeping fish nature’s body 

Friday, September 11, 2020

Poem - shhh! do not speak

shhh! do not speak
the moment is so delicately poised

like a tiger about to pounce 
like a candle could go out 



==

I dream I am in back my routine job in Heaven, and God has lots of things to say because it is Monday



I dream I am in back my routine job in Heaven, and God has lots of things to say because it is Monday. When I wake up I can't remember what my job is in Heaven, but I dream about it from time-to-time. 

But back to the dream:

"Take a look at all these new fish." says God.

I look at them. 

"I want you to sort them just like the other ones before, OK?"

"Gotcha." I say. 

"You sure you know what I'm talking about?"

"Yes sir."

God isn't sure but he's willing to let me do my best.

"I'm going to round up some angels to do some encouraging in Brest by 4 O'Clock."

"That sounds nice."

"Doesn't it? It will be fine. I'll be back when you're done with the fish. We might paint rain this afternoon, so it is nice and silvery."

Before I can reply, God puts on his grey sweater and heads across the cool white room of clouds and out the door full of moonbeams and pillars of sunshine. 


Poem - he stood there in the play area hood up

he stood there in the play area sweatshirt hood up 
dressed in blue and gray and black
watchful and hostile for some reason 
while his wife or girlfriend pushed a little girl in a swing
he kept watching to see if anyone would look at him 
and he'd push an empty child's swing 
next to the swing his child was swinging in back and forth 
sometimes the full swing and the empty swing 
would be swinging at the same time in the 
same direction 


**


Poem - for every threat or every other normal thing

for every threat or every other normal thing
here is this day striven out with dereliction or grace
that converts strain into sudden pleasure and stain into meaning

emotional pleas from trees black bark and yellowing leaves
not so many going now to fall but soon a waterfall of reds and yellows
every street and alley canyons of hue and the mind begotten anew

more days in there with duty or sloth patched or sundered 
whittled down like droplets of ink into a black story of a black night 
or unexpectedly lifted when every angel's plea is detected 


***

Thursday, September 10, 2020

Poem - it is foggy but

it is foggy but 
keep walking forward like you know what you are doing
the trail is slick and you are alone as you go you can't go back
but you pretend at the end of the walk there is no sense of loss

go in and boil water 
put away stray groceries and make sure everything is placed 
as if you are on a ship bound for the northwest passage
the sky the ice a milky hue one and the same with the sea

memories like waves 
how you thought it would be impossible to make such a way
to be alone on a path in the fog with children far away
on their own walk and their own voyages you do not take


----

Poem - normal spacing

normal spacing in fall
seen through one window
one room one couch
three paintings
eight pillows two throws
one ottoman one tray
two mugs one glass of water
18 sheets of paper 2 written on one crumpled
eight pieces of mail one post-it
six pens 1 pencil 
two cats one girlfriend
one boyfriend four books
two newspapers
three smart phones
(one that is used as a clock)


----

florida street south


Poem - oh you know, to go on

oh you know, to go on

to write on 

it takes courage and a bit of sut

stu

stupidity or stubbornness

even some humor don't you see



---




Friday, August 14, 2020

robert nye

robert nye

wrote poems about fresh bread tears and the moon's hair

words about singing and bedeviling his wife


as a novelist 

wanted to be remembered as a poet

think of all the vaunted things you want to be remembered for


would it be for silliness

imperfections and tall tales 

or how numbers ideals and guns mowed down people justifiably 



 a

poem 

owed


to whom?


to someone.



Sunday, July 26, 2020

everything you see you do not own

everything you see you do not own
if you think you posses it 
it is merely passing though your hands
and you have no hands 


**

we are all not so simple
to be summed up as only 1 thing
but people do this all the time
with personal opinions


**

you are as big as a mountain
you are as small as a flea
all at the same time
in the same way 


---

Monday, July 20, 2020

he's gone/ we are going

he's gone
we are going
we'll all be gone
and it is sad
but we were 
never here
to begin with 
just vibrancy 
elation emptiness
as stable and
continuing as
fireworks and
hammer strokes
sparks and 
stars 




888

Sunday, July 19, 2020

i think

i think

someone hopes
their screams will 
cover my whole life
and smother me

which shows

i shouldn't
take seriously
anything 
i can think 

..

where does
invented dread
come from?

from the one
who dreads.

Friday, July 17, 2020

that could be for us too



the tree was over 80 years old
vast with leaves yet fading

it had a broad strong side
on the other a great wound

cracked open
for many years 

weakness spreading
through the branches

a limb yielding from high up
smashed to earth 

so today cut down sawdust
all i can think of is impermanence

also a deep pang of regret
for such a giant beautiful thing 

sighing and swaying
rustling and billowing 

stout sentinel no more
and so one day all of us 

still look closer though
in the grass 

tiny shoots of the same tree
ever revealing new life

that could be for us too




Tuesday, July 14, 2020

someone i hoped to meet

someone i hoped to meet
i will never meet

but you can always 
write a poem 

how grateful i am 
for everyone i've met

there was nothing ordinary 
ever in anyone 


**

Friday, July 10, 2020

they say this morning garden is impossible




they say this morning garden is impossible
as all should be carefully selected and none possibly overrun the other
but this paradise is a reckless place life making it so 
every living thing excelling striving and billowing with stems and leaves
a riot of colors and charging growing that is as unruly as it is challenging
all notions of good order and what should be placidity out the window
bursting celebrating swaying together reaching up limits narrowness overcome
in the morning of this life were we may be pricked or stung  
we can admire it if we wish and sing this and love 



_____

7.10.20
planet earth

Monday, July 06, 2020

what a fine summers day

all trees have plans
to put roots through
our corpses



*

samsara

one ton of happiness
is very light

one ounce of misery
unbearable

what we think is happiness
or misery 

is interchangeable
weather-vane like mind

--

Wednesday, June 24, 2020

as your father/ i must say

as your father
i must say
this holy thing
all fathers say
and you know
beforehand what
all fathers say
but for some reason
you still will not

turn off the light
in the room
you just left


-----


Pants

"Put your pants on!" he said to his kids, after 2 PM on a beautiful Saturday afternoon.

"Why?" they asked. 

"BECAUSE I SAID SO!" 

"BUT WHY!?!?" 

"BECAUSE PANTS WERE INVENTED AND YOU SHOULD WEAR THEM AFTER  2 O'CLOCK ON A SATURDAY." 

"OK. We'll wear our swimming suits."

"Fine." he said after thinking about it and deciding it wasn't worth fighting over anymore. 



___ ____






Sunday, June 14, 2020

on this june day

on this june day
what do you have to say?

the birds and the trees 
in full force

the squirrels in the yard
faster than the cats 

but nothing quicker
than an unsatisfied mind

and for what
remembering lost games 

where you landed
on boardwalk



*

Tuesday, May 26, 2020

i let my thoughts come and go

i let my thoughts come and go
i don't stare at my thoughts
that would be rude


_______

Hat Lake
MN

Wednesday, May 20, 2020

LEW




he had a booming voice
a personality like fireworks 
loud applause or thunder
organizing poetry at the cafe
he built a podium with a light
out of unvarnished wood
the podium was straight and tall
master carpenter
you had to step up onto it
as he ran a tight ship in readings
scrupulously fair about how long
you'd be able to read 
poetry was his ideal and his life
he was as impressive as irritating
gracious as impetuous 
courteous singing brash
and rude vibrant gloating graceful
remembering forgetting but
never for a moment 
regular boring
or ordinary 


"joy was his song and joy so pure
a heart of star by him could steer"

'My father moved through dooms of love'
ee cummings 


Lew Gardner
1931 - 2018

there's poetry that lasts

there's poetry that lasts
too bad we can't hang out forever
get sick of each other's opinions
more than we are now

because there's something intimate
about being annoyed at your thoughts
how i derailed some of your readings
or made you cry 



-----


all night you eat ghosts


everything is normal
though we do feel beat up by sleeping

all that traveling
through billions of places

every fleck and mote of dust
super real and will be there forever 

people 

all night you eat ghosts
in the morning you shit them



*

Sunday, May 17, 2020

God on a Bicycle

Out walking in the rain, I see God on a bicycle coming down the road, taking his time. He's a black man, wearing a blue hooded sweatshirt and smoking a cigarette. 

I nod to him politely, as he rides by. 

"Have a great day, my man." says God.

"You too!" I reply. We are both in a good mood. 

God keeps going down the road, I see he has an old cardboard box wrapped in plastic on the back of the bike. God might have a pair of shoes in the box, or a few books. Or a lunch. He rides easy into the storm, as I am walking away from it. 

Later, I know I'll be walking into the wind and rain, when I have to make my way back. 



-----

St Louis Park

Saturday, May 16, 2020

Chung Tzu: Phantom Cup & Real Water



Chung Tzu and I are in the backyard, on the deck in the first warm sun of spring. We are facing the alley.

"After all these years, I see." I say.

Chung Tzu looks at me sideways, just past the edge of the newspaper. 

"Truly, I see."

Chung Tzu rustles the newspaper, goes back to reading. 

"I will start to stop trying." 

"AHEM!" says Chung Tzu, as if to the squirrels. "Phantom cup! Real water."


----

South Florida Street
St Louis Park

Wednesday, April 29, 2020

after several weeks living / working from home

after several weeks living
working from home
i was suddenly furloughed
from reality

i found in this
i was always inexplicable
as far as my yard was concerned
or whatever i could see in the sky



***

now this poem isn't going to be about anything

now this poem isn't going to be about anything
it will be several lines of letters about the same length
except the middle line will be slightly longer



**

a wise man said something once

a wise man said something once
it was probably very inspiring
unless you were stupid

but people i think are stupid
say profound things too



**

"Well, that's not bad." says Chung Tzu, as we are sitting in the basement.

"But it also is too bad you think you think." says Chung Tzu.


------

St Louis Park

Monday, April 27, 2020

not a single cloud is ordinary

not a single cloud is ordinary
they are resplendent
vaunted by the light


yet as a mist brings the rainbow
or we turn to an old favorite game
such is the cloud or a thought



***

Saturday, April 25, 2020

i have sunk me

i have sunk me
and i don't mind it

a wreck
three fathoms deep

with cats
swimming above me

saying give
it is 5pm let's eat



__

Wednesday, April 22, 2020

we alone carry our ends and our beginnings

we alone carry our ends and our beginnings
thank goodness no one else can carry them

this means we are free never chained from the beginning

the molten coils i struggle with through endless nights
is from the light turned in and because i shut my eyes tight

and difficulties of all sizes gave me courage if i let them

we carry our own burden but let me help you if i can
with a kind work or an example in some way how it can be done

look everywhere with me and find it there inside a stone
or in sky mansions full of stars or even in the heavenly fields above these



for Deborah

the morning is so beautiful

the morning is so beautiful
there's nothing left, nothing at all
all is well with this morning

2 years ago you died
it makes sense to hurt
to be happy with such sunshine

- for my father

****

Sunday, April 19, 2020

dreams never stop if i can recognize my face in a dream

dreams never stop if i can recognize my face in a dream
then a dream can recognize my face during the day

then we will have met thank goodness thank goodness
in the sky in the earth applauding in the wind that sighs



-----

I was all out of commas.

I was all out of commas.



---

St. Louis Park
4-19-20

Sunday, March 29, 2020

today is broken
and yesterday was broken
tomorrow will be broken

but i love each of these anyway
and everyone in them
because that is what love is all about

if i keep caring i might discover
today is not broken nor yesterday
nor tomorrow



3.29.20

Saturday, March 28, 2020


when the wind picks up
and i am alone on the way back

my eyes remind me
in what i see of a mustang horse

a running horse in the sky
that can bring my love back to me

Saturday, March 21, 2020

3rd day of spring
hearing the tolling of a bell
sounding soft and far away
you can't help but listen

like all of us in seclusion
in a time of plague
whatever you do
that is who you are


*






Monday, March 09, 2020

everything i did and said was deniable
except this what i just wrote



*
they asked me if i would rather be hungry or sad
i told them i would bear any misery on a full stomach
just like everyone else in the world



*

Friday, March 06, 2020

we've come to this moment
for me to lie and say i can play the guitar
and after i've hoisted it and we've taken our pictures
oh my fingers are so tired my wrist so stiff from playing all night





*

Monday, March 02, 2020

not every man is a genius in his own hour
nor a hero in his own house

it is just the way it is if it is
not be formed for the age you live in

so everything you do is off
there is no closing the circle because

you might live with someone or alone
but either way you are a coward

but even cowards strive for better days
some find peace in what seems to be disaster

even courage
even faith


..




Friday, February 21, 2020

"If that is how you recognize it." says Lao Tzu.

"The highest path includes not being recognized for anything." I remark.

"If that is how you recognize it." says Lao Tzu.



-----

St Louis Park
sometimes the gate we go through
is a locked door or a broken promise
the highest path can include
being dismissed or having no recognition



Friday, February 14, 2020

the life filled with disasters
which is perfect
stains spills and breaks
crooked tables and burnt meals
big hugs laughs and tears
immense in love over all
through lies deception and fear
compassion over all


Thursday, February 06, 2020

Without a Cloud in the Sky

It is a bright day, just after noon, without a cloud in the sky.

"The sky is not made out of sky." I say to Chung Tzu.

Chung Tzu hums and pets the cat.

I decide to wait a minute.

"The sky is not made out of sky." I say to Lao Tzu.

Lao Tzu looks surprised, but keeps looking out the window at squirrels in the yard.

I wait a little bit more.

"The sky is not made out of sky." I say to Henry Ford.

There is a brief pause.

"What driveling nonsense!" says Henry Ford, looking over the newspaper.


----

Florida Ave South
St Louis Park

Wednesday, January 29, 2020

Stove Parts Says 'Hold Onto Your Hat!" plus Things in Trees

crow in a tree
punctuation mark
to never ending vastness

I put my pen down.

"Hoo hoo!" says Chung Tzu "Saying there's this or that in the sky. How grand!"

"Hold onto your hat!" says Stove Parts.

So I write:

cow in a tree
punctuation mark
to never ending vastness

"Moo!" says Chung Tzu.

"Now you're just making fun." says Stove Parts.

I write:

clown in a tree
honk honk! honk honk!
honk honk honk!

"Gah ha ha ha!" laughs Chung Tzu, holding his belly, wiping tears from his eyes. "GOOSE!"

"I've had enough of you both!" says Stove Parts, as he leaves.


***

Afternoon
Minnetonka
1.29.20

Friday, January 24, 2020

He's Forgetful Says Chung Tzu

"Hello Mr. Pavarotti." I say in the morning, to Pavarotti.

Pavarotti just stares at me.

"He's forgetful." says Chung Tzu. "The only way he remembers things is when he acts rambunctiously."

Pavarotti jumps up and grabs a can of silly string, and starts covering me with it.

"I remember you now." he says, as the can sprays and sprays.



_____

St Louis Park

Thursday, January 23, 2020

i was the sunday night date
last in line and i knew it

after we said goodbye
she sat in her car and texted

she was in contact with the
someone who she really loved

but i understood i needed
to get out even for a sunday date

she didn't matter and i didn't either

Tuesday, January 21, 2020

Henry Ford Who

"Nobody likes him! Why should they?" says Henry Ford, looking up from the newspaper. "He's a horrible person!"

Chung Tzu hums and looks out the window at bunny tracks in the snow.

"Who is?" I ask.

"Who?" says Henry Ford.

"WHO IS?"

"I don't know!" says Henry Ford.



-----

Florida St
St Louis Park

Monday, January 20, 2020

Leaches and Drinking

I look up from the book I was reading. "Wow! Did you know a leach has a three-jawed mouth, two hearts, two circulatory systems, five pairs of eyes, 32 brains, and 10 stomachs?"

Chung Tzu sits there, to let it all sink in.

"Amazing! And you thought you were special!" says Stove Parts.

***

I meet Broken Pot in a tavern. Broken Pot gets drunk.

"You have the ability to be a drunk, how can you stop drinking?" says Broken Pot.

We walk to the highest hill. It is cold and late, the moon is high above us. The wind blows through us so our teeth chatter.

"By discarding all thinking. By discarding all ideas of good or bad towards drinking."

We walk back to the tavern. By the time we get back, Broken Pot is sober.

peace peace peace peace

i'm sleeping there's no dream
the mind like a flashing light

with the absence of thoughts
and unencumbered from ego

there is peace peace peace peace
in each peace was happily ever after

wakening to a morning with
a quarter inch of new snow



**


Sunday, January 19, 2020

did anything else matter / after you saw those few snow flakes

did anything else matter
after you saw those few snow flakes

did you see them
widely scattered and wandering

each one appearing as if

with no purpose
each one with no aim


____

Evening
St Louis Park

Saturday, January 18, 2020

Chung Tzu Asks Do You have a Fire in Your Head?

"I can use my negative thinking to out-think my negative thinking!" I exclaim.

"Hmmm. Let me see. What is fire? Can fire burn water?" wonders Chung Tzu, "Can fire burn fire? Or fire burn air? Or earth? Oh my!"

"Fire burns wood!"

"Just like the thoughts seem to burn in your mind. But do you have a fire in your head?" asks Chung Tzu.


-----

1.18.20

Wednesday, January 08, 2020

bodhicitta shining / like a light on the light shining

bodhicitta shining
like a light on the light shining

scripture or non scripture
each cherished

every action out and in
in and out

coming around in a great circle
in endless circles



***

Chung Tzu: Oh my brother. Don't deceive yourself.

"I'm not entirely certain I ever had that. Or even wanted something like that."

"Oh my brother. Don't deceive yourself." says Chung Tzu coming into the kitchen, from the tiny pantry. "You certainly did."

"Well now it is now stuck in my head. Just like a song. Just like an exception to the rule."

Chung Tzu points to a melting icicle, warming in the sun. "Would you like for me to come up with a nursery rhyme to remember this?"


*****

Winter
Florida Street South

Monday, January 06, 2020

Seven O'Clock

There's a middle-aged black woman ahead in line at the grocery store, when another middle-aged black lady inserts her trolley between me and the checkout clerk.

She waits about 5 seconds before slowly looking my way.

"Oh. I got in front of you." she says. "I'm in your place."

"Yes you did." I say, because it is true. She did cut in front of me. "It is okay. Go ahead, take my place."

She stares at me, seeing if I am high or drunk. Then she looks at me like I have horns growing out of my head.

I don't tell her she could be anyone! A Buddha, and angel, a heavenly being in disguise in a grocery store, cutting in line. Or a middle-aged African American woman. Teaching patience, about letting go, living life as it is. Not needing to fight, or protect your turn in line.

As the line moves slowly, she stares at the woman in front to her. I don't know how God or the Universe works. I don't know why we are tested, or when I am being tested, or when I am not being tested. So I believe it can be at any time, with anyone, and I keep living that way the best I can.

She ignores me until she is checked out, and even after that she keeps her eye on me. I pretend to not notice her. I bag my groceries, and as I walk through the dark slushy parking lot, I hear someone like her in the background behind me, and she could be cursing someone out or spontaneously singing a hymn loudly to Jesus.

It all happens so fast sometime, when I turn and look, it must have been my imagination. Cars keep driving, people are smiling or frowning, at seven o'clock.


-----

Cub
Hopkins at Highway 7




Sunday, January 05, 2020

I see Chung Tzu down the street. Happy New Year.

I see Chung Tzu down the street, he has a wet tree branch.

"Happy New Year! I told Joe about you, out in Corcoran. But I saw you over there anyways."

"Uh huh!" says Chung Tzu.

"Do you want an introduction?"

"Hah! HIM? We already got to know each other all summer. He's been introducing ME to YOU."

I give Chung Tzu a deep bow. He nods, and hoists the stick.


***


if you're missing the Tao as soon 
as you stop yearning there it is
don't pity your own selfishness
if you think you can't find it

when you see it to forget yourself
if you're not looking for the Tao
it will surely find you because it is 
mother of ten thousand things 




***

Jan 2020
St Louis Park