Poem

the ego visits
but does not remain

Chung Tzu Reads the Sport's Page

Chung Tzu is reading the sport's page.

"I'm a big fan of spontaneity." I say.

"Well, that isn't surprising." he replies.

Potshot Sez:

Shhhhhh! Be quite!
Listen to the wind.

Now go into the other room
and take off your left sock.

Put ice cubes in it
and watch how the water drips!

Poem - woke up at 3 am

woke up at 3 am
didn't feel like sleeping

watched tv
but wasn't interested

paid programming
paid programming

at 4 am thought
i should go to sleep

danny wakes me at 7
phoebe off to school

(i admire the sink
and how it is bolted to the wall

best 350 bucks
i ever spent

and a job
well done)

2 Year Old + Water * 5 Minutes = ???

Daniel goes downstairs. Later, I notice I hear water running. It has been running for a good time now, several minutes at least. 2 Year Old + Water * 5 Minutes = 10 gallons of warm water all over the basement floor. How?

Daniel gets onto the couch next to the bar/ island in the basement, the couch is pushed up against the bar for a tent Phoebe and I built. He gets his big plastic dump truck, puts it in the sink, and turns both taps on full. The dump body fills up and water gushes out of it, into the sink, and out of the sink in all directions! The happy tinkling of water going everywhere is delightful, I realize.

Well, I needed to clean the basement floor. It could have been worse. Only a few days ago I was down there cleaning another section of the basement when the WC toilet exploded raw sewage all over the floor and leaked through the basement ceiling, through a light fixture. That was pretty cool, too.

Just a Silly Toy! III

In my dream, I wandered through the World, going here and there, and some freinds I made on my travels would follow with me. We never stayed anywhere long, and some places did not welcome us. Word was getting around, and some communities actively sought us out to show them how to solve the cube. At times, my life was in danger, but somehow I made it through.

Then, after many years, I and some followers decided to get away, and go high up into the mountains. We hiked for a long time, over many days, until we came to a clearing on a beautiful alpine slope. The meadow there was full of tiny wildflowers, and grass -- to one side was a stream that had come all the way from the very top of the tallest mountain. It was a good place to stay, and so we set up camp, and relaxed in the late afternoon. I had something on my mind, about the Rubik's Cube, but I wasn't sure what it was.

That night, we made a campfire, and watched a slim crescent moon rise, stars wheeled over our heads. After talking and joking about small things, I took out my cube, and I looked at it. After all our wanderings, it looked a bit shabby, with scratches and scuffs. Here was a great dent in one of the blocks. I turned it this way and that, mixing it up a bit, and we all laughed at that. I turned it back so it was solved, and we laughed again. I looked at my poor, battered Rubik's Cube again, and I realized finally what I had to do.

"I solved the cube. It is just a toy."

"Yes." they replied.

"I realize, just now, that it is not enough to solve or unsolve the cube."

Many people there were shocked.

"It is just a toy. I have moved beyond needing this cube."

I broke my cube into pieces. It really took no effort to accomplish this.

"Now I am free, without it."

There were some there who simply could not accept this, and they left that night. Living without the cube! Insanity! Solve it, yes - get rid of it - no!

But my true companions got over the shock, and though it made my life more difficult, I was happier to be rid of it. Certain places would shun us, and would not buy or sell if you had no cube.

But in the end, I was so free without my cube. Think of it: my new understanding could not be stolen, sold, exchanged, or given away. The original point of fixation that took me far, was utterly abandoned, now it couldn't be broken, couldn't be lost, would not be mixed up, and not be located here, nor there, nor anywhere -- not not there.

My realization Was!

Just a Silly Toy! II

In my dream, after I solved the cube, and saw it was a toy, I tried telling people about what I had done. Most people didn't believe me, that it could be solved -- many others condemned me for being so presumptions and proud to undo what had been done. Others were profoundly disturbed, because they belonged to creeds where they would gather together and ritualistically turn the cubes into similar patterns, signifying their chosen cultural identity.

For the last group of people, I had created a concept that threatened, what they felt, was their very identities. If Rubik's Cubes could be made whole, how would they know who they were, compared to others? So many steadfastly ignored me, and my solution, I was even threatened with death as "a great nihilist". If I was not condemned as a non-believer, I was accused of playing with God's plan.

But there were a few people who saw what I had done, listened to what I had to say -- they solved their cubes, and they realized it was just a toy. Most of these people were happy, after they solved the puzzle, because they were free of it.

Just a Silly Toy!

I had the strangest dream last night -- I lived in a culture where when you were born, they gave you a Rubik's Cube, and it was completely solved. But over time, the cube would become hopelessly mixed up, and there wasn't anything you could do about it. It was unavoidable for the cube to become scrambled, and the more your personal cube was scrambly, the worse you'd feel about it. People worried about the mixed-up state of their Rubik's Cube, it was a source of sadness and heartbreak. Nobody knew how to solve it, it was just too hard to imagine you could fix it, though people would secretly try. Many people thought it was a great sin to try to solve the mixed up state of the cube. Other people tried, and failed, they made it worse in trying. In my dream, I decided to unscramble the cube, and after many years of secret effort, I succeeded! My Rubik's Cube was whole and solved, laying there before me...and then I realized, it was just a silly toy!

Poem - april 2

take the age test
says an internet ad
how old are you

i am deadly old
older than older
past is too gone
the future broken

ha ha ha
just kidding
on april 2

Poem- Ticket

i wish i could say that
god got a parking ticket
or jesus got a ticket
but they can't and
they didn't

but neither can
buddha get a ticket
nor lao tzu or chung tzu
nor brahma
or mohammad

oh goodness look
they are all ticketless
unticketable and
non-ticketed even
if we think they should

April 1

Every day, for Daniel, who is 2, is April Fool's Day. He plays tricks all day long, spring, summer, fall and winter.

Phoebe, 11 years old, wants to play April Fool Tricks. "We should call up grandma, and tell her the house burned down!"

"Do you think she'd think that was funny?" I ask.

"No, probably not." Phoebe thinks. "How about we call my cousin Jared and tell him I broke my leg?"

"That might be better." I agree.

Chung Tzu IN and OUT

"I wasn't accepted. I didn't get in." I say to Chung Tzu, after reading the letter. "I mean, I wasn't sure I'd get in, but I thought I'd get in."

"Oh, my brother!" laughs Chung Tzu, and he spins around. "Wonderful! You're so IN they couldn't let you IN!!!"

"Now what do I do?"

"Oh boy! Wheeeeee!" says a dancing Chung Tzu. "You know what to do! Keep getting OUT THERE!!!"

Potshot sez:

How excellent!
Dance!
Bang, bang, bang!
Boom, BOOM, BOOM!
All up in the air!
A real mess like it
always was!!!

Poem - my father lives in memories

my father lives in memories
quiet muffled place
lined and ordered with
phantom do's and don'ts

i was overly bright
even insulting
a constant challenge
pushing forwards
pushing back pushing
in all directions
i know how it is clearly now
because i have a son
but with my father and i

unfortunately
there came a point
where we settled up
concluded business
didn't bother to even
say goodbye
goodluck
and still kept on
living

he and i may have been
looking for someone else
all along but couldn't
see this

but who were we looking
for? who had to be different?

Poem - The idiocy of Zeitgeist

The idiocy of Zeitgeist
Keeping us down
But it makes things work


Just before April
Oak Park, IL

Poem - I Hear the Word

sons and daughters
daughters and sons

make no mistake in this
be gentle oh be gentle

it takes effort to be this way
possibly it will be excruciating

but this will take you far
people will be astounded

if you are gentle!

Poem - too

too hot
too cold
too new
too old
too hard
too far
too much
too too

just perfect

Peom - be a glob of mud

i.

be a glob of mud
some flecks of straw

be a weed
or a flake of wood

easy as sunshine
no care moonlight

stand up sit down
get back up

ii.

follow the leaves
randomly blowing

go where
the wind blows

zigzag the straight path
like you are intoxicated

admire trash
admire girls on the avenue

iii.

the fence is broken
how lovely

the foundation is leaky
how lovely

the lot is cindery
how lovely

living dying changing
how excellent!

One Day Here and Stove Parts Came By

One day Here and Stove Parts came by.

"Have you seen Chung Tzu?" asked Stove Parts.

"He was here, but now he is not." I replied.

"He is not here, for certain, for I am Here." said Here.

"Certainly, that could be correct." said Stove Parts.

We were startled when Chung Tzu came into the kitchen with a swirl of wind, and a bang on the door.

Before we can recover, Chung Tzu laughs uproariously, like a pirate.

"AH HA HA HA HA!! Well, hello Here!! Where have ya been!?!"

Poem - searching for tao/ is tao searching for tao

searching for tao
is tao searching for tao

it may snow tomorrow
it may snow today

vase by the window
with dried flowers in it

Phoebe Tells Us About the Happy Wagon

At lunch, with Evan, Phoebe told us about this idea she came up with, she calls it "The Happy Wagon".

Phoebe explained: We all have a Happy Wagon, and we tow it with us as we journey through life. When something bad happens, or when someone is mean to you, it is like having a stone, or stones, put in your Happy Wagon. The good thing about the Happy Wagon is, you can either sprint right by when someone wants to put a stone in your Happy Wagon, or after a stone is put in your Happy Wagon, you can take the stone out and not keep carrying it, if you want to.

I said, Phoebe, that is interesting. Do you think you could carry other things on the Happy Wagon? I think good thoughts and other positive feelings could be on the Happy Wagon as well -- they'd probably make the Happy Wagon lighter.

Phoebe agreed. And some things on the Happy Wagon are not there forever, they fade away on their own, even if you don't use them, or give them to others, or throw them away.

Evan asked Phoebe, but what if someone wants to give you something heavy, for your Happy Wagon, and you don't want it, but you feel like you should take it?

Phoebe said, that's okay -- I'd take the stone (or whatever), and carry it for awhile, and then when the person who gave it to me was gone, I'd put it on the side of the road, because you never know -- someone else might want it!

1 - 2 - 3

one.

I tried once to write something I was thinking, but the pen was broken, so nothing needed to be written.

two.

Before dawn today, I picked some snot and put it next to me on the wooden bench. When rising sun lit on it, I saw Mt. Meru, and all the creatures that dwell there. Then I was the snot, and Mt. Meru was sitting next to me, writing. Later, a bird ate up a blob of snot.

three.

Are you almost there? You're already there. There was nowhere to go. There is not there. The journey was in your mind. But purely, here is no mind. Therefore, there was no journey.

You played with doubt as innocently as a child with a toy.