Chris and the Kitten

Chris: Whatcha doing there?

Kitten: I'm playing!

Chris: With what?

Kitten: I dunno! It is skreegily!

Chris: It is paper!

Kitten: .....

Chris: You're playing with 'paper'.

Kitten: ....

Chris: The THING you are PLAYING with is CALLED PAPER! PAPER! PAPER!

Kitten: I'm playing!


-------

Quail Meadow
April, 2013

His Feet in Coffee/ The Universe is Out Looking for Me

I'm getting out the cat food from the can, when the big orange cat jumps onto the counter, and sticks it's hind leg into my coffee cup. I scream as the coffee cup flips over and throws coffee all over the counter and the kitchen  floor, like a grenade going off in my intestines. Later I apologize to an animal that does not comprehend the English language. Who sticks his feet in coffee.

*

I know the Universe goes looking for me if I have false serenity. It is like a cop who knows where a drunk lives, and they wait for them to pull out of the driveway.


----

Quail Meadow

Cats

There are two cats here, both orange. They are not mine to keep, just to take care of for an 'indeterminate period of time'. Has this ever happened to you?

In the evening, the kitten takes tentative swipes at my feet, it feels like the batting of butterflies. I figure if it was big enough, the kitten would be happy to chew my head to a bloody pulp. The bigger cat grabs the kitten and puts it in a headlock & bites the kitten hard enough on the nape of the neck to make the kitten cry.

I rescue the smaller cat. They eat wet catfood like an addict would go for cocaine. The kitten is also partial to nibbling on wires. Then one of them takes a mean shit in the catbox.

But whenever I get pissed off at them, I remember I was way more irritating, in about 100 different ways. I probably still am. So I trap them both under one hand each, and pet them until they don't feel like running away.