Poem - The Patient 12

12

and like that

i see John Shipley

sitting in the bright sun

on the side of the road

on battered suitcase

when i get to him

he smiles 

a little sunburned

i'm sorry for any shocks

or surprises 

things happened very quickly

and i was moving

behind the scenes

pulling quantum strings

a fix or two to the 

continuum? we will see

he looks a bit

abashed then 

smiles again 

but you are doing

fine from what i 

see and i think from

what i know now

you will be 

absolutely ok 

he stands and

opens his arms

to the sky and

the whole world

we're men

who both have

everything and 

we know it 

he gives me 

an irresistible smile

how rare is that?

take care and

goodbye you're 

safe 

enjoy everything

that is to come

and before i can

protest or ask all

my questions he 

hands me the torn

ace then 

a quick embrace

a car pulls up

and he gets in

with the case

waves

and disappears

down the road

*

as the wind

picked up 

me standing there

i let the card go

watched it fly

into the sky 

until i could see it

then suddenly not

then i said a prayer

a heartfelt prayer 

for everyone i 

ever knew or hoped to know

everywhere they have been

and everywhere they might be

***

Poem - The Patient 11

11

we stay
at the lake 

the phone

does not ring

you seem younger

and then older

then younger again

at times when

you don't think i see you

tragic

and also beautiful

we are under a sky

with no limit of stars

at night

Poem - The Patient 10

10

we meet 

at a park 

it is almost dusk

i thought i was

ready 

but i see your face

contorted with 

guilt and regret

it comes as a

terrible shock

the way we

hurt and wound

each other

in the pursuit

of happiness

you 

say how

sorry you are 

over and over again

sorry sorry

so sorry

in the background

i see someone

i ask 

is he following you?

you turn

and when you 

see him

you clasp your arms

together holding

yourself tightly

and scream

go away!

go away!

as you do this

i touch your

shoulder and

you startle

we leave

together and

don't look back

later you 

cry and i hold you

i watch the 

light of the streetlamp

flowing over

slips of paper

tossed shoes clothes

books and a hat

=

The Patient 9

9

and a note
in my cold uptown flat
where everything

seems varnished by
blue light

i want to 
come back

i crumple it
it crumples
o pride

i am so cold
i have no idea
if i can be warm

*

who needs help more
her me or them
or him

if i love her again
will she leave me
again i ask the wall

over and over again
i ask the wall

a blue wall

The Patient -1

-1

i am nineteen years old
and i meet the girl
who will be my wife
for the first time

i give her a ride
out to the island
where her friends are
for the weekend

she laughs at my
old boat with the
peeling blue paint

later she and i
try to catch fireflies

while her friends
argue and get stoned

+

after this kiss
so lightly

and for so
long on my burning lips

i don't see her
for three years

The Patient - 0

0

before it all began
i felt happy for some reason
and so did my wife

we had been unhappy
for a time with
strange arguments

i think i was happy
because she was happy

for some reason
she would not tell me
exactly why she was happy

we took a walk
in central park

we watched it snow

we held hands like it was
a long time ago

Poem - The Patient 7 & 8

7

the claim to find his body
it is not his body
i almost ask if there
is a pack of playing cards
in his effects

his things are
laid out

no torn ace of
diamonds


8

my wife leaves me
for my secretary

Poem - The Patient 6

6

when i get the letter
that starts with
when you get this note
i shall be gone for i have
'found myself and
i will be gone shortly

i rush to the hospital
he is not there
having gone missing
thursday night

the police and searchers
comb the woods
and check all hotels and
bus stations homeless camps
bars etc etc

i show them the note
they wonder why
it is torn at the bottom
they look at me
darkly suspiciously

they confiscate it

but later i find
the torn off section
secreted in the crevice
of my car door

it says
as an expression
of my gratitude
i will be back for you
JMS 1 
with a ace of diamonds
torn in half

when the police
ask me if i found
anything else i lie
about this note

i lie
and i sleep
in my lies

my wife says
if i feel like
you're starting to carry
you patients in your head
and they can't get out
of your head i might have
to leave you

and i sleep
and then wake up
see new cases and pretend
any patient is out
of my head out of sight
out of mind

i look
at the ace of diamonds
and avoid reflections
when i do so

Poem - The Patient 4 & 5

4

in the middle of the night
i dream of the patient
my wife wakes me up
you're arguing with someone
and talking and talking
about time and ladders
stop stop

i wonder if i might meet
myself older or younger
and both of us not have
any idea who is who

you should take
some time off you never do
says my wife
your patients
be just fine and as 
crazy as ever when you
get back

i wonder who is
loonier and who is sane
i say half joking

that settles it
she says you're going
on vacation
to the lake house 
start packing 

*

before we leave
i let my secretary go
because i discover he is right

5

when we are at the lake house
the phone will ring sometimes a long time
because there is no answering machine

but when i go to answer it
the line goes dead

the phone never rings
at the same time of day

the phone never rings
for the same amount of time

kids crank calling
i tell my wife
convinced it is
something else

she unplugs the phone
and we light the lanterns
the lake is black
and huge

out over it are a few
bobbing lights

Poem - The Patient 3

3

a quantum dislocation
is going to occur
he tells me as he looks
out the window

we don't know why
but this universe at some point
splits into two branches

one branch discovers 
that the shift
has occurred the other
has no idea it happened

it may have happened
by now he says it is hard to tell

we may be in the one that knows
it happened we shall see

persons found that neighbors
and people they hated
for many years 
were in fact themselves
due to accidental
time travel from one universe
to the next

he laughs a great deal
at that

then he writes in a journal
for a long time without talking
then remembers me

sorry he says
i have to stay organized

*

when i am
dropping him off at the
hospital he looked at me frankly
thank you for being
so kind and listening
i know you don't believe me

he looked at the single light
shining harshly over the entrance
i'll see if i can
come back for you

look for a sign

Poem - The Patient 1 & 2

1.

he can see the past in mirrors
so he avoids looking into them

he says i am not a voyeur by the way
i see in that reflected chrome on the desk
sometimes your secretary has sex
in here when you are out

remember: nothing is as it seems
he smiles at me sadly

he documents his movements precisely
so his future self will rescue him
with a quantum ladder

yes he says  multidimensional aliens that look
like flowing paint and swatches of light
are coming to destroy the earth 
in 2022


2.

he carries a small tablet sized
erasable white board
and a black dry erase marker
when we go walking to get some air

i put a string on the marker
so i don't drop it
he says

whenever we see a news van
or security camera he quickly
writes the date, time and a message
to his future self

7.17.14 AM PST
40.7127° N, 74.0059° W
FOR GODS SAKE JOHN MARKEN SHIPLEY THIS IS 
JOHN MARKEN SHIPLEY 47 YEARS OLD NOW
BORN JULY 11 1967
37.3000° N, 120.4833° W

i wish i could calculate this
in relation to the galactic center
he muses with a sad smile
possibly someday it would help

i'm like finding me
in a quantum haystack 
but i know i promised to keep
looking he assures me

i want to ask him
how do you know you'd keep
looking?
but i refrain