i try to remain but i'm barely here

i try to remain but i'm barely here
seldom did i arrive fully without being then
halfway gone into some other thought
or being as polite as i could manage waiting
for you to be done so i could speak my part

now remaining a bit easier as time
and toil removes objects and persons
brings in new baubles and takes more people
with less friends to talk to i see how i used them
when they were happy kind and willing

i wonder was i ever a true friend to these
the people i call friends or was i just warm
to the idea of companionship and the uses of
i read richard III's midnight address to himself
his mourning self assessments reproach affirmation

see i am such a like puppet to my own discussion
but for me i know there could be so much more
beyond the ideas if i was good friend or a villain
past the part of the party in gardens of delight
or one's youth is the only place to find such joys


**