Note: Many travel savvy people here in the USA assume that we're hated by most people in different countries, and that while traveling, the inhabitants will naturally go out of their way to ruin your trip. This is false. To have bad experiences abroad, you have to be diligent & work hard every day to get people to be at their maximum unhelpfulness. In most situations, genuine hostility cannot be procured on the spot, but with enough time and interaction, it can be sampled overflowing in every corner of the world you decide to travel to. Here is a quick list on some ways to get the juices flowing:
1. Put a camcorder around your neck, hold a map in your hand, and walk slowly while gawking at strangers in the street.
2. Keep a loud running monologue of everything that you see, and how it is different.
3. Enter a shop, and greet the person behind the counter with a loud melodic "Bonjuuuuurrr!" then laugh on how hilarious you are. Jovially find fault with products offered for sale, saying a few of them look disgusting. Really really disgusting.
4. In a subway, ask for detailed directions while standing next to a giant subway map, with a map in your hand of the subway system.
5. Complain wherever you are staying that there isn't enough hot water for you to take an hour-and-a-half long shower.
6. Insist people to give you times in AM/PM rather than the normal 24 hours. Also, refuse to learn how to tell time in 24-hour increments.
7. Get impatient with the waiter for the bill. Ask if the tip is included. If the tip is not included, say it should be, but you can't believe how expensive it is for what you ordered. Tip 1 Euro.
8. Comment constantly on all the bathrooms you've seen. Scream if you see a squat toilet.
9. Recoil from people who smell funny. Act like they have the plague.
10. Misplace small worthless items, and accuse staff-people of stealing from you because you're an American.
2 comments:
11. Refuse to take a cab in France, because taxis in foreign countries are "dirty." Act surprised when you're finally forced to take one and realize that the taxis in Europe are nicer than the car you drive at home.
12. Accuse random people of knowing how to speak English but refusing to on principle. This works especially well if you start repeating your question very loudly first. Works especially well in the subway.
11.5 But still insist after every cab ride that the cabs overseas are filthy.
13. When in doubt, yell.
Post a Comment