If I do a bang up job

One day, by accident, I become elected as President of the United States. How does this happen? It is such a long story of seemingly unconnected vignettes(and even outright contrary events) in how this comes to pass, it hardly makes any sense, so I won't even get into it. Or I can't get into it. I think I may get in trouble if I get into it, to be perfectly honest. Suffice to say again, in a different way, it was purely by chance. Or was it? Many other worthy men and women offered to be elected President of the United States. But these things have a way of happening (or turning out) in the funniest way, I must say. I have to say something because I am the President of the United States. And they want me to give a speech here and sign this and that. I get to hear advice and go to meetings. The press tells terrible lies about me, or they just write terrible things (can you believe some people pay other people to do that all day)--- things that would make your Mom cry if you were President of the United States of America -- leader of the Free World and the most Powerful Man in the World, if you catch my drift. I hope you do. I have other hopes, lots of hopes. Like, I hope to get a second term too, I think. If I do a bang up job on the first term.